


Different Ideas

by catrinahart



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Barebacking, Fluff and Smut, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Misunderstandings, Pining, Rimming, University Student Harry, University Student Niall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-09-12 19:17:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 30,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9086428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catrinahart/pseuds/catrinahart
Summary: Harry and Niall don't meet under the best of circumstances in their final year in uni, but they find they like each other, a lot.  They try being friends with benefits, it works out until it doesn't.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This story started off as a cute little drabble, it didn't stay that way. Proof-read by no one but me so all mistakes are mine.

Niall glares at the stairs and he just can’t justify doing it.  The two boxes in his hands aren’t heavy but his knee is throbbing, aching from the numerous trips of up and down the stairs. Today was supposed to be easy, but Louis ended up being the only one who could help him finish moving in and he was easily distracted.  Like now, he was on the phone with his friend, Liam, planning something for this weekend.  And _not_ focusing on helping him move.  But it’s ok, 'cause this is the last trip and that was a good thing, since the storm that had been turning the sky black for the last hour had finally decided to unleash the rain and lightning from within its ominous clouds.  

 

This time last year, a week into the school year, he had already been settled into his dorm however this year he’s still in the process of moving in with his former teammate Louis; former because a sideways kick to his wonky knee, killed his footie career last season and now two surgeries later and his football scholarship gone, he had to move off campus because it was cheaper and apparently Louis’ family was somewhat well-to-do, and he wanted a roommate that wasn’t chosen by his parents.

 

Taking a deep breath to offset the panic he knew was going to set in the minute he stepped in the lift, he pressed the call button.  The building was 5 stories and old, built well over 100 years ago, and while the feel of the building was funky and cool he could already tell that it was going to be a bit drafty.  The lift was obviously retrofitted, but it was old as well.  The doors opened slowly, creaking, and he stepped inside.  Again taking a deep breath he pressed the button for the top floor, the panic setting in as the doors started to close.

 

“Hold the door, please!”  There were frantic running footsteps accompanying the shout, and Niall’s arm flew out to keep the door from closing on instinct.  The boy standing in front of him was not what he expected.  He was tall, with dark brown curls falling just past his shoulders, and bright green eyes.  He was wearing a white tank tattoos rolling up both his arms and his neck.  He also has two small piercings that hoop over his lush lower lip, one in his nose, and one through his eyebrow.  He has no right to look as hot as he does.  He steps back allowing the other boy on the lift.  “Thank you.” 

 

“Sure.” Niall says stepping back farther into the corner watching the boy press the button for 4.  Niall takes in his hands; one has a small cross tattoo the other is still blank, his hands are large; fingers, long and thick.  Niall swallows and looks away as the lift doors close, his throat feels tight and it’s just not because he’s in a lift. He’s pretty sure the guy is wearing eyeliner too and it should look weird but instead it’s totally ok, because the guy is really hot.

 

“My friend lives here, I forgot my phone at his place.”  The other boy shares, turning to Niall, eyes moving up and down his athletic frame. He knows exactly what the other boy sees.  He dressed in comfy clothes today to move, tennis shoes, jeans, and a comfy Derby vest.  He has on his favorite snapback covering his hair that he still hasn’t decided if he’s going to dye again.

 

 Niall nods at the other boys words but keeps to himself.  When the lift starts to move he starts counting because it feels like the walls are starting to close in on him as soon as the lift door had closed and now it’s slowly moving and creaking.  He is never taking this lift again, it’s awful.  Breathe in and breathe out,    _one, two, three, four, five, six, seven…_ There is a loud crack of thunder and then the lift stops, bouncing a little as it locks in place, and the lift goes dark.

 

“What the fuck was that?”  Niall shouts, hands crushing into the boxes in his hold, as the lights flicker in and out.  A small emergency light comes on lighting the lift, but it was definitely not moving, not at all.  And it wasn’t spinning, that was Niall, oh god, he’s going to throw up.

 

“Huh, odd?”  The other boy questions, he is still obviously calm, goes to press a couple buttons.  “They aren’t lighting up, we must have lost power.  Storm was supposed to be pretty strong…”  He opens up the little door that Niall hadn’t really noticed before and picks up the emergency phone, “Huh, no dial tone. Do you have a phone?”

 

He’s speaking slowly, it must be his normal drawl but it’s doing little to sooth Niall, because everything that is coming out of his mouth is _bad_.  The green-eyed boy looks his way and he knows what he must see.  He’s sure his eyes are wide with panic, face pale because the walls are closing in.  “Whoa are you ok?”  He rushes over filling Niall’s vision, grabbing the boxes that he’s still holding and setting them on the ground.  Then those massive hands that he was admiring earlier land on either side of his face, making him maintain eye contact, “Hey, Hey, what’s your name?  Breathe for me ok?” 

 

Niall focuses on those green eyes, taking a deep breath, still feeling the walls _closing_ _in_ , and he knows that he needs to keep breathing, because if he doesn’t he’s going to pass out.  That would be bad, and what would be worse, because when he would wake up he would still be stuck in a lift looking like an idiot with probably one of the hottest people he has ever seen in his life.

 

“Breath, in and out, c'mon.”   The voice is slow, soothing, so he focuses on that.  That deep slow voice hypnotizing him.

 

 The beautiful stranger is taking deep breaths, so Niall tries to sync their breaths, mind starting to overcome the panic. He vaguely remembers the question and blurts out, “I’m Niall… Are you wearing eyeliner?”

 

\----

 

Harry laughs, watching those vibrant blue eyes start to click back in with reality. “Hi Niall, I’m Harry, from Cheshire, and yes, I am wearing eyeliner.”  He lets his hands move away from his face, down his neck to rest on his shoulders.   “Are you ok?”

 

The other boy shakes his head no, taking off his snap back to reveal blond tipped brown hair.  He is only a few inches shorter than Harry, but he fills the lift with his presence. He's just wearing blue jean and a white vest but he looks good, really good, better if he wasn’t so pale.  “I don’t, I don’t, like, do well in small places.”

 

“I see,” Harry keeps his hands on his shoulders, wanting to keep him ‘with’ him.  He takes in the pale complexion, freckles across his nose, bright bright blue eyes.  He makes him think of sunshine, his own little ray of sunshine. 

 

“So Niall are you Irish?”  Harry asks, knowing that he needs to keep Niall’s mind of this situation.  Who knows how long they are going to be here.

 

“Yeah, here on a scholarship, or was, athletic, football, busted my knee, I have a phone, should we call someone?  We should call someone.   Emergency services?”

 

“Do you live here?  Do you have they landlord’s phone number?”  Harry asks, yes they should call emergency services, but maybe the landlord has a generator that needs started and that could be quicker.

 

“No, no, I’m moving in, I don’t, Lou, I’ll call Lou.”  Harry steps away slightly watching the other boy pull out his phone.  He’s shaking; hands barely focused enough to unlock the phone.  He makes the call, the other boy answering and Harry listens as Niall starts explaining the situation.  He can see from here, the flush in his cheeks getting more red, pulse in his neck speeding up and he reaches out for his right hand, interlacing their fingers.  He knows that he needs to keep Niall calm.  That seems to do the trick and he disconnects with his friend.

 

“He’s going to call the landlord, then emergency.  So now what?”  The Irishman looks at him and Harry gets a little lost in his eyes.  He really could stare at him all day.

 

“So Niall the Irishman… tell me about you.”  Once he asks, Niall obviously just goes with it.  He starts to ramble and Harry is sure he knows exactly what he is doing.  He pulls the other boy with him and then settles them against the wall, both of them sitting shoulder to shoulder in the lift.  He learns that Niall is in his last year; since he can’t play football he is studying sound engineering, which he was anyway but now football isn’t an option, he has to work harder.  He also loves music; playing and teaching, so he may try to get a minor yet, only three courses shy.  He misses home, but loves London, has one brother, loves his father, Bobby, his mother Maura, and nephew Theo.  He also loves Guinness, really just loves life.  He’s applies for an internship at Radio 1, and hopes to know something soon.   Harry can honestly say that he is one of the positive people that he has ever met.  He can’t help but smile as Niall finally looks back at him.

 

“Your turn, keep my mind occupied.”  They’d received a text from Louis saying that the landlord was on the way to start the generator to power the lift, but that didn’t work so they were waiting still on emergency services.  Harry had been keeping track it was almost an hour already.  Niall had yet to go back to a panic attack, but his hands were still sweaty and he wouldn’t let Harry’s hand go.  Harry had taken to rubbing slow soothing circles on his wrist with his thumb, his pulse fluttering under his fingers.

 

So Harry started rambling about everything, his mom, dad, stepdad, Gemma, her cat Oliva, his love of music, photography.  It’s his last year too, and he was majoring in sociology and photography, and he didn’t know what he’s going to do with either.  He works at a bakery and loves it, apparently the owner thinks he has the skills for management, but he doesn’t know if that’s what he wants to do.  He loves to work out, challenge his body, whether it is with yoga, or boxing, or running.  Maybe this year, he would do a half-marathon, see if he could.  He just kept talking; at one point Niall rested his head on his shoulder, starting to really relax, pulse becoming more slow and steady.   

 

They kept chatting as they passed hour two.  Niall keeps texting his friend until his battery dies, and then he drops it on the floor of the lift.

 

“I’m gonna hav’ta use the loo soon.”  Niall mutters and Harry just laughs a little.

 

“It can’t be too much longer right.  Wanna snog?  It’ll make the time go by faster.”  Niall stiffens at his side and Harry wants to knock his head against the wall.  What a stupid fucking mistake, such a bad joke even if he was half serious. Sometimes he should work a little harder to control the shit that comes out of his mouth.  Of course a comment like that was going to make him more uncomfortable, he probably wasn’t even….

 

“Don’t they hurt?”  _Huh_? _What?_

“What?”

 

“When you kiss?  I’ve never kissed anyone with those piercings before.”  Niall asks. He seems more curious than uncomfortable.

 

He runs a hand under his lower lip, realizing what he is talking about. Oh… “They’re not real.”  He says popping off the two hoops on his lip, the sticker on his nose, and the hoop through his eyebrow, holding them in his hand to show Niall.  “Some of the tattoos are fake too.  I’m doing a study about how people judge other people.  I’ve gone on a couple job interviews, shopping, asking directions, and stuff like that with the extra piercings and tattoos.  Documenting people’s reactions and shit like that.  I’m having another person go in that looks more clean-cut too compare and recording some audio.  See if they are asked the same questions, blah blah blah. ”  Then because he can't shut it he finds himself continuing to rattle on about the project that he’s doing, distracting them both a little bit from the awkwardness.  “That’s why I’m here.  My friend Zayn helped to draw the tattoo’s and stuff and then took pics.  I’m going to create an online survey and have people match school marks to pictures and stuff like that.”  He falls silent.

 

“Which ones are yours?”  Niall asks, and Harry walks him through the tattoos that mean something, killing more time. But he can't help but notice Niall's eyes, how they keep talking back to his lips, then his tattoos as Harry talks about them. And maybe he wasn't so of with that snogging comment.

 

He decides to take the risk.  He just has to do it; the fact of the matter is he may never see him again and since he said it only half in jest he can’t help but think that it really would be a great way to pass the time.

 

“So no to the snogging then?”  Harry asks again, because, this Niall guy is pretty damn amazing, and he _really_ likes the way he looks, and the way he looks at Harry.  It pools warmth in Harry’s belly that he hasn’t felt in a long time.

 

Niall just laughs at him and it’s the first laugh that he’s heard and he falls a little in love with it, because it’s like Christmas morning, and it makes him happy.

 

“Are you dating anyone?”  He asks, and when he turns his focus all on Harry like that, the warmth spreads from his belly all the way to his toes.

 

“No, not really doing the dating thing right now.”

 

“Bad relationship?”

 

“Guy was a dick.”  Harry revealed. There is always that chance that once you mentioned it was a guy instead of a girl you would get a disgusted reaction.  He really hoped that wasn't the case with him, Niall instead smiles.

 

“Best outta your life then.”  Harry nods.

 

“You, girlfriend?  Boyfriend?”  He asks hopefully.

 

“Nope, single, pringle.  Kinda pissed you’re just as hot with the piercings as without, doesn’t really seem fair to the rest of us.  So that project the reason you’re wearing eyeliner too?”  Harry’s heart start to beat fast because, well, _Niall thinks he’s hot._

 

“Yeah,” Harry nods.  “Ya’know, I’m hoping to demonstrate that we shouldn’t be judging people just because of how they decide to show themselves to the world.”  The blond nods as he takes in his response.

 

“I like it.”  And he doesn’t know if he means what Harry just said or the eyeliner, he had completely forgotten he had it on. “It looks good on you.”  So the eyeliner it is.   Niall has his head leaning back against the wall of the lift, looking over to Harry next to him. 

 

“Thanks, sooo,”  Harry’s not going to ask again, but Niall’s looking at his lips, then up to his eyes and back again, licking his own lips.  He’s thinking about it.

 

But it’s like time is against him now and the lights flicker, coming back to full strength and the lift kicks on, bringing the lift up slowly to the 4th floor that he’d originally selected. Harry wants to curse and he does under his breath and then rises to his feet, pulling Niall with him.  Grabbing the boxes that Niall was originally carrying, they exit the lift in a rush when the doors finally open.  Laughing Niall grabs the boxes, sets them down, and pulls him into a hug, holding him tight.  He has strong arms, broad shoulders, but Harry still feels protective of him. He’s still smaller than him and he likes it.  Also likes that they have this crazy experience together that has made them fast friends. 

 

A friend he wouldn’t mind snogging.

 

“Thank you Harry.  It was an absolute pleasure, tattoos, piercings, and stuck lift and all.”  He grabs his boxes and heads for the stairs.

 

“Bye, Niall!”  He yells as the other boy walks away, eyes glued to him, mesmerized by his incredible attractive arse… its then that he realizes he never got his number.

 

Well, shit.

 

\----

 

It wasn’t that Niall wasn’t working hard on his classes.  These first couple weeks have flown by and now without footie to distract him, it seems like college is nothing but work and more work, especially with adding the extra courses for the minor in music theory that he’s still trying to decide he wants.  He spends hours studying, but it seems like he spends just as much time thinking of Harry.

 

As a general rule, he doesn’t get hung up on people.  But Harry was a little different.  He had never seen anyone that attractive in his life, never.  From the curly brown locks, bright green eyes, to the wide hands and boot ensconced shoes.  He has never really met someone that he likes from head to toe.  Also never really considered snogging a stranger.  Even though he wasn’t the much of a stranger anymore.  No he has learned a lot about Harry in that lift.  It had been better than some of his first dates, and that was no joke.

 

It doesn’t help that he keeps thinking that he sees glances of him, here or there.  Then he realizes it’s just a phantom of his imagination, hoping…  Because he kinda wishes that they would have just kissed in the lift.  And since he was ‘made up’ or ‘in costume’ or whatever, he wasn’t even completely sure that he would recognize him.  What if it was just his panic, his dependence on Harry that made him think he was attractive and he’s actually a troll?

 

Niall dropped his head on the desk, smashing his glasses into his face.  He lifts his face to slip his glasses off before dropping his head back down, he only ever wears his glasses when he studies so he often forgets he has them on, until ouch...  

 

God- he wishes he had just gotten his number.  Didn’t even think about it until he was walking in the apartment door, he’d even gone back down to the fourth floor lobby after using the loo but he didn’t see Harry.  And it was probably a good thing, ‘cause he would have looked like an idiot.

 

Looking back he would have kissed him and gotten his number but now Harry is just a missed opportunity.  He knows he doesn’t live here, said he was visiting a friend, he can only hope that he may run into him again in the lobby here, or maybe take the lift again, even though he’s still refusing to take it.

 

“Ni!”  Louis does a partial tap on the door before sticking his head in.  “Get dressed; we’re headed to the bar.”

 

“Nah, man, I can’t.  I need to get this finished.”  He leaves his head down, talking into the desk.

 

“Ya, man, you can.  It’s the first month, at least wait until finals to burn yourself out, lad.”  Niall turned to look at the slender boy, he doesn’t look like much, but he was a scrappy footballer, and an even fiercer friend.

 

_What the hell? Why not?_

 

“Sure, why not.”  Niall stands up, taking in Louis’ appearance then dressing to match, comfy white vest with blue skinny jeans and white trainers.  He grabs his snap back, stuffs it on his head and leaves his glasses where they are on the desk.  “Ready for me to drink you under the table?”

 

“Game on, lad.” 

 

The walk isn’t far, but on the way he finds out they are going to Liam’s birthday bash.  Niall doesn’t know him, but know _of_ him through Louis.  He and Louis have been friends for the last couple years after working on a project together and discovering a shared love of all things superhero.  Niall figures the party should be in good fun.   He keeps his head down as they walk that way, aimless chatter about courses, instructors, Louis girlfriend Danielle, and then of course Harry, because Louis knows all about him because of the lift fiasco and continually mocks him for walking away without getting his number.  But in his defense he really had needed to wee.

 

As they approach the bar, he can hear the music flowing down the street.  There must be live music tonight and Niall’s already glad he came.  Walking in the door he’s assaulted by the smells of greasy bar food and alcohol and he realizes how long it’s truly been since he’s unwound, between the end of the season, end of school, summer, and his two knee surgeries, he hasn’t enjoyed life much.

  
Two hours in, he is partially tipsy but having a smashing time.  He finally gets meet Liam and they get on really well.  Liam and Louis are playing some version of billiards after moving on from darts, which Niall had slaughtered them in.  He’s talking to Ellie, one of the girls that he has class with when someone catches his eyes.  He ignores it because really he has been seeing Harry everywhere all week.  But he keeps looking back at him, because this Harry looks a little bit more real.  The tattoos are missing from his right arm, leaving only one near the elbow, and the neck tats are completely gone.  He’s face is completely devoid of piercings this time, flawless and it tricks his mind… Is this the same person that he talked to?

 

“Hey, El?  You know that guy?”  He asks, during a lull in the conversation. She looks over, smiles.

 

“Don’t know him personally, but yeah, Harry Styles I think.  But if you’re thinking what I think you’re thinking, you need to think again.  One night stands and hook-ups only for him.”

 

“I see.”  He ponders that for a moment.  Would he be ok with that?  It’s been a long time since he and Josh broke up, and he does barely know him.  Maybe a hook-up is all he wants.  He’s not looking to start a relationship either; school is going to be way too crazy this term.  But he has not stopped thinking about the green-eyed boy since he walked away.  He’s never had a one night stand before, but maybe he could.

 

He and Ellie chatted a little more before her boyfriend came and stole all her attention.  He looks back over at Harry and just decides to go for it. He’s been thinking about him too much to ignore this opportunity.  He’s over on the other side of the bar talking with someone across the table but it seems to be more polite than anything else.  He remembers Harry being so much more animated in the lift with him.  He looks back over to Liam and Louis and they are playing another round, as a team this time.  He’s in the clear.

 

He slowly makes his way over letting his caution slow his steps.  Negative thoughts are sneaking into his brain, maybe he should back out?  Maybe this isn’t a great idea.   Louis is smashed and he’s probably going to have to carry him home soon.  But by then he’s already mostly made his way over, the seat next to him is empty, so he drops into it.  It squeaks as it takes on his weight and Niall waits as he finishes his sentence.  It takes a second for him to notice that Niall isn’t saying anything so Harry turns rather slowly to look over at him a slightly annoyed look on his face until he recognizes him.  Then he has Harry’s full focus.  He smiles so wide, his dimples pop and his green eyes glow.

 

“Well, Niall, the Irishman.  Hello.” He drawls out slowly and Niall can’t help but laugh at Harry’s statement.

 

“Harry from Cheshire, hello.”  His smile is just as bright and he sets his pint on the table, finally knowing he’s welcome.

 

“What are you doing here?”  He asks, though he seems very pleased to see him.  The girl that he was talking to walks away, but they both barely noticed her already focused on each other.

 

“It’s a bar, I’m Irish… it fits.”  He says with a shrug, “But I’m actually here for the birthday party.  That’s my roomie right now over there with Liam.”  He looks over his shoulder to see that the group of four is still working on their game of billiards.

 

“Me too, Liam’s been my friend since we were like ten.”  Harry can’t seem to stop smiling and Niall just keeps smiling back and it’s like they’re a couple of teenagers flirting for the first time, it helps make Niall feel like less of a dork.

 

“So I kinda regret not grabbing your number when we were in the lift.”  Niall starts, looking over Harry’s shoulder before looking back into his eyes.  He’s not normally this forward of person, he’s shaking with nerves.  What if he read the situation wrong?  What if now that the opportunity is over Harry’s not interested?

 

“Oh really?  Cause I had the same thought.”  Harry shares with him, turning his body to completely face him.  God, were his arms that buff the last time he saw them? Biceps and triceps defined in his arms, it was an amazing mix of beautiful and masculine.

 

“I just really had to wee.”  And with that Harry rocks back, laughing out loud bringing his hands up to cover his face.   Niall can’t believe the shit that comes out of his mouth around Harry, he has no filter around him, he’s not sure if that’s a good or bad thing.  Half the stuff he told him in that lift was shit he’d never told half his friends. 

 

“I get that, stressful situation, no toilet in sight.”  Harry agrees nodding.

 

“Yeah, so anyway my priorities were a little…”  He pauses for effect.  “Skewed?”  It came out as more of a question then he really meant it to, but he _really_ wasn’t used to being this forward, but Harry seemed interested.  And Harry was attractive, devastatingly attractive, so he was worth a little bit of embarrassment.

 

“Oh really?”  Harry asks, eyebrow raised, eyes questioning.

 

“Yeah, should have been focused on, ya know, last names, phone numbers, and thanking you.”  He looks down a little and then looks back up through his lashes.

 

“You did thank me; I remember a hug and everything.”  Niall doesn’t know what he was thinking coming over here flirting with him, but he’s so glad he did it.  Being the center of Harry’s focus is terrifying and amazing at the same time.  He kind of feels like the king of the world right now.

 

“No, I meant _thank you._ ”  He raises his eyebrow and he can’t help but look down at Harry’s lips.  This time, he’s not distracted by the hoops wondering if it would hurt to kiss him, now all he sees are red plump lips and he really wants to kiss Harry.  He looks back at Harry noticing that now, those green eyes are wide, realizing what he’s saying. 

 

“So, you wanna snog?  It’ll make the time go by faster.”  Harry echoes his words from the lift, this time instead of looking like he’s joking and unsure; he looks smug, a smirk gracing those red lips. And Niall doesn’t care that he looks smug, because really all he wants to do is feel that smirk against his lips.

 

“Yes, lets.”  He doesn’t break eye contact the entire time.  The other boy stands and he finally takes in what he’s wearing, black vest, with black skinny jeans, and some very beat up brown boots.  For a minute his fascinated by the stretch of the jeans over his thick muscled thighs and his mouth goes dry.  He finds himself being pulled up and then walking behind Harry, hands clasped, as they make their way to the side entrance.  He pulls the heavy wood door open and Niall looks back to make sure Louis is good, he’s still playing a game with Liam against the other team… he’s good, all is good.  He takes a quick second to grab his snapback and place it on his head backwards.  He doesn’t want it to get in the way.

 

The side entrance leads away from the street so it’s mostly hidden from view, just a small alley between two buildings. It’s dark and cool, but he quickly loses focus because as the door closes Harry’s hands are on his hips, and when he glances down he can’t get over how small his hips look in his hands. Harry backs himself to the wall, pulling Niall in to straddle one of his thighs.

 

Niall shakes his head because he can’t believe this is happening.  He had somehow run into Harry, who he hadn’t been able to stop thinking of and he can’t believe he ever doubted his memory, because Harry’s jaw dropping attractive. 

 

And then he really can’t think, because Harry’s lips are on his and they feel as good as they look, soft and slick against his.  He presses in tighter to him, absorbing his warmth, pressing his hands against his chest.  It feels good, small kisses, gaining pressure, lips wet as they slide together. 

 

A small moan is all it takes, and Harry’s licking into his mouth, teasing, learning, sending shock waves across Niall’s nerves.  His hands drop to his arse, pulling Niall closer, as his own hands sink into the dark brunette curls that have been haunting Niall for a week.    They are as soft as they look and they tangle around his fingers as he pulls himself up and closer to Harry.

 

He feels himself get lost in the slick slide of red lips and tongue.  He’s a great kisser, taking Niall apart and his knees are shaking with the sensation.  He can feel his body heating, blood rushing south and he pulls away to catch his breath.  Harry’s reddened lips fall to his neck, kissing, and nipping.

 

“That is a hundred times better than I imagined.   God your _arse…”_   He groans into his neck with a quick bite to his collar bone and a harsh squeeze to his backside.   Niall huffs out a laugh, but Harry just swallows it down as he’s kissing him again.  And Niall can’t catch his breath; Harry is constantly stealing if from him. 

 

The hands on his arse keep pulling him closer, and the arousal is slow and steady building in his belly.  Harry’s hips start a slow grind and twist; he’s controlling the slow, slow pace as he seduces him with his languid kisses.  He grinds back, whimpering when he finally pulls a moan from the brunette.

 

He takes his time, tracing his lips down his neck, exploring, finding the spots that make the other boy moan and whimper.  “I was so pissed when I watched you walk away, up those stairs, all I could do was stare at your arse, and then you were gone, and I didn’t…”   He stops talking when Niall covers his lips again, this time licking into the other boy’s mouth, tasting alcohol and mint on his breath.

 

“I came back down to look for you.”  Niall admits pulling away, taking in his disheveled appearance, dark eyes, red cheeks, bruised plump lips.  He doesn’t even want to think about what he looks like. 

 

“Oh thank god,” Niall shifts his hips, relieved when he feels that Harry’s just as hard as he is.  Harry’s hands clench on his arse, so he does it again.  He wants to drop to his knees, take him into his mouth, his gag reflex isn’t the best but he loves giving head, loves having his face fucked, really just loves sex in any form… and it’s been way to long.

 

He pulls back to do exactly that but that’s when he hears it.

 

“ _Niall!  Niall!”_  Louis is obviously very drunk, but he sounds agitated, louder than normal.  Its then he hears a glass shatter and he can put together what happened.  He drops his forehead to Harry’s shoulder.  “ _NIALL!!”_

 

He quickly stands back, “I gotta go, he started a fight,” never intentionally; Louis just has a really smart mouth when he’s drunk.  He presses a sharp hard kiss to Harry’s lips.  “My birthday party is in two weeks.  Lou’s planning it, please come, I don’t know where it is yet, but I’ll find you and let you know.”  With that he presses one more quick kiss to his lips, and runs back in the door, to see Lou being escorted out by the bartender.  He rushes up grabbing him as he tries to yell at the bartender.

 

“I got him, sorry.”  He apologizes before wrapping his arm around his waist and walking him out the door. 

 

“Neil, you wouldn’t believe what happened.  That guy, the one, the pool guy, not Liam, the other guy, accused me of cheating!  How do you cheat at billiards?” Louis just keeps rattling on and Niall happens to look over into the alley to see Harry still standing there.  He gives him a quick wave, Niall however can’t help but watch as Harry smirks only then noticing that he has his hand down the front of his jeans and his arm is moving and _oh god,_ he’s _wanking_.  He then drops his head back to rest against the wall jaw dropping open slightly, and Niall loses his breath because he’s pretty sure he just watched Harry’s orgasm and he’s still rock hard, walking his drunk best friend home, when all he wants to do his go over there and lick Harry clean and make him come again.

 

He’s screwed.

 

\----

 

To say that Harry is counting down the days is an understatement.  At least Niall had tracked him down on instagram, twitter, and facebook, so they had started to communicate via messaging.  He had been surprised when he had gotten the follow and friend request, but now knowing that they had mutual friends, he’s sure the Irishman had been able to figure out his name and find him easily.

 

Now, Harry was actively stalking him.  He had gone through all his photos on facebook, dating back to when he had braces and his lips were all red and puffy, some of his amazing footie plays and videos, he was very talented, and his apparent love for golf as well.   Not only that, so much of what he posts is positive and thoughtful, there is no doubt in Harry’s mind that he is a great guy.

 

A couple times when he had been over at Zayn’s dressed to get his extra tattoos, he had hoped they would run into each other, but the other boy must have had a pretty busy schedule.  It was through twitter he learned that he had gotten that internship at Radio 1 that he had told him about in the lift.  And it’s not like Harry wasn’t just as busy, running around, trying to finish work on one major semester project.  

 

Whenever he walked around campus he looked for him, but sometimes he was looking for a snap back and other time the blond tipped brown hair.   They had yet to exchange numbers, but Niall’s birthday party was tomorrow, and apparently it was going to be at a club, even though, by Niall’s own tweet, he ‘can’t dance to save his life.’  Harry however can’t wait.

 

He tries not to think of his current obsession too much, because it’s been a long time since he has felt like this and that had ended epically bad, and it was the reason he swore off relationships.  But he isn’t going to lie to himself or Niall when it comes to it.  He wants Niall.  He wants him in his bed, willing and begging, and he has a feeling that it is going to happen, soon.

 

He spends the next day going through his Friday classes, thoughts scrambled and arousal constantly in his belly as he thinks about tonight.  He’s never really lusted after someone else like this before.  It’s a different type of intense and he’s getting tired of wanking when he knows-maybe- that Niall is willing. 

 

But part of the wait is what’s making it so _sweet,_ knowing that they had two weeks to build up, to flirt, and to tease.  And some of the DM’s through Twitter did get a little racy and he loved it. 

 

Now he’s ready though, ready to end the flirting and the teasing, and the only thing he can think about is getting his hands on him.

 

He was already dressed and ready to go.  He’s dressed in one of his favorite patterned shirt, a white button up with black leaves and vines printed all over.  He left it unbuttoned half way down and it leaves his arms bare, knowing that Niall had been staring at them that night at the bar, his eyes blue and intense. The way he’d licked his lips like he’d tasted something delicious.  And, god, the way that he had kissed, like a dream, Harry couldn’t wait to get his lips on him again. 

 

He kept distracting himself with his phone, homework, and everything else.  Finally he turns on the telly.  There isn’t much on, but it will distract him until Liam comes to get him, then they will grab the tube to the club.  Apparently Louis has planned the party at dance club that is known for being open to all kinds of couples, so it should be an interesting night.

 

When Niall had told him about it, he said that he liked to go clubbing every once in a while, but pubs and bars were more his thing, but he was really looking forward to it. And so was Harry, when he looks back at his phone, only 5 minutes have passed and he groans. 

 

This is going to take forever; he walks to his kitchen grabs a beer and puts on a movie.  For a while he gets lost in it, downing another couple beers before Liam finally knocks at his door, and it’s not that he’s drunk but he’s definitely primed.  He grabs a black jacket and pulls it on as he and Liam make small talk, but Harry’s a little bit lost in his head.  His thoughts keep rolling around all the ‘what ifs’ tonight could offer.  He really thinks the only thing that might disappoint him tonight is if he doesn’t get to see Niall at all.  He’s still thinking when he finally realizes that Liam is trying to talk to him.

 

“Mate, what’s your deal?”  Liam finally asks him after repeating himself three times.

 

“Whadya mean?” He asks, finally boarding the train, watching out the windows, really seeing nothing but blurred lines.

 

“You are out of it.  Totally distracted. ” He clarifies.  Liam’s brown eyes are gentle and questioning and Harry loves him because he’s always so worried about him.

 

“Nothing, I just, you know that guy I mentioned?”  There really is no reason to keep it from Liam, he knows Harry better than anybody else, except maybe his mum.

 

“The one you’ve been crushin’ on since term started?”  Liam catches on quick, Harry’s made no secrets about the fact he’d been infatuated with someone, he couldn’t have hidden it from Liam even if he wanted to.

 

“Yeah, it’s Niall.”  Harry watches his reaction, confusion giving way to the ‘ah ha’ moment.

 

“I see.  You know he’s more of serious guy right?  Only had a couple boyfriends through college and the last one broke up with him way earlier this year.  Something about his surgery and not wanting to have to take care of a boyfriend kinda thing.”  That was one nice thing about Liam, he knew a lot about Niall just by association.   He’d already gotten some information that way, what he couldn’t figure out threw his twitter and instagram.

 

“Well that’s shit.  But you know me, I don’t do boyfriends.”  Not yet, anyway, it’s not like he doesn’t want to eventually, but not yet…

 

“Mate, you need to get over Xander.”  Liam shakes his head as he says his name like it’s a dirty thing, and well it kind of is.

 

“I am.”  He was over Xander, never thought of him much anymore; he just didn’t want to open himself up to that kind of hurt for a while and he wanted to have fun.  Relationships hurt and even though he was only dating for 6 months, to find him in bed with some other woman, only to find out that Harry had been a “gay experiment” was enough to deal with.  So it wasn’t that they fell out of love, it was just that Xander was a giant twat.

 

“You’re not, especially if you’re still letting him control your actions.” Liam countered.

 

“I just need some more time, I’m only 21, and I don’t need to find my soul mate.”  He wants to enjoy his youth, not waste it away looking for the love of his life.

 

“Just make sure you don’t lead Niall on then.”  Liam was smiling, but he was serious, the one thing that Liam valued most was honesty.

 

“I’ll make sure, _Dad._ ”  He says it mockingly but he loves how much Liam cares.  He rests his head on his shoulder and Liam tilts his head to rest it on the top of his. 

 

“You never know when you’ll meet the love of your life Haz.”  Liam whispers softly.  And Harry knows that Liam’s still looking.  After his nasty breakup with Sophia last year, he’s never really moved on.  And he’s not like Harry, he can’t just have sex to have fun, there is romance and emotion involved.   Maybe Liam can find someone tonight… just maybe.

 

They finally get off the tube, walking just a couple blocks to where they club is.  It’s brightly lit and the pulsing music can be heard outside.  Showing their student ids they get in with a discounted cover, more money for drinks, he guesses.

 

Harry takes in the club, its sleek, clean lines, black booths line the edges of the room,  the bar is in the far back, silver and sleek, three well-dressed bartenders being kept fairly busy.  There is a DJ controlling the music and the dance floor is crowded.  He sees a bunch of familiar faces from Niall’s instagram and facebook, recognizes friends, cousins, and co-workers, but he doesn’t see the boy in question yet. 

 

He spots Louis first, getting a couple of shots, and he watches him and that’s when he finally sees Niall.

 

He has his back to him but he’s wearing a white shirt, with small butterflies all over it, and skinny jeans that accentuate his arse and skinny legs, his head is finally free of a snapback and hair is spiked up, he looks really good from the back.  Niall turns towards Louis, and he can see that his hair is starting to fall a little flat, sweeping across his forehead. He’s smiling and his face is bright, shining full of colors.   He looks good.    Harry watches Louis give him his shot, they toast and then Niall is being dragged behind another lad to the dance floor.

 

Harry can’t help but smile, Niall wasn’t really kidding when he said that he couldn’t dance, but hey, neither could he, but he could definitely turn it into something else when the right beat came on.  He turns back to Liam to see that he had already spotted Louis and was working his way over to him.  Louis now had a dark haired bird sitting in his lap; she is stunningly beautiful with a bright smile.  That must be Danielle.  He’s heard a lot about her and their cute together.  Liam definitely approves of them together, Harry keeps hoping that she has a friend that she can hook Liam up with, it hasn’t happened yet.

 

He’s been debating on a plan most of the night.  Too many different fantasies about how this night could play out.  So since Niall was already dancing that’s where he is going to start.  He’s not really that much of a planner anyway.

 

 He starts making his way to Niall, weaving between the people on the floor.  It’s hot in the club and he can see that Niall is red, sweating, and for some reason it just makes him more attractive.  When he finally gets to where he wants to be, he lines up right behind Niall, pressing his body firmly into his while placing his hands on his hips.   Niall looks quick over his shoulder, then smiles like sunshine.

 

“Hey Niall,” he presses his lips behind his ear as he speaks, feels the shiver it causes in Niall, loves it.

 

“Hiya, Harry,” He relaxes, leaning back in Harry, “I was ‘ondering when you would get here,”  and he smirks into his neck when Niall arse presses against his hips, because he’s been thinking about that for days, not that _exactly,_ but him, Niall and now that it’s here, he feels a little overwhelmed.

 

Niall’s arms raises up resting over Harry’s shoulders, one hand tangles in his hair. They find a beat together, and the motion becomes more of a slow grind than actual dancing, because, well, admittedly neither of them can dance. 

 

The music seems to be something with a lot of bass and a slow steady beat and the dance floor is packed with bodies. Finally being this close to Niall is affecting him.  He smells good, like coconut and sandalwood, and it invades Harry’s senses.  His hips keep pressing back, friction already making his blood flow south.  He thinks he should be embarrassed about getting turned on this quickly, this easily, but he’s not.  Probably because he has been thinking about this all week; actually since two weeks ago, since he jerked off in an alley watching Niall walk away with his drunk friend’s arm over his shoulder.

 

He traces kisses on his neck, tasting sweat and cologne.   He moves his hands across Niall’s hips, right where his waistband is, teasing, checking, and Niall’s reacting too, slowly getting hard in his jeans.  He cups a hand around his dick, pressing before turning him so they are facing each other.   He loves how Niall looks, red cheeks, bitten lips, eyes blown to black, there is no doubt in his mind, Niall wants this as much as he does. 

 

He doesn’t know how long they’ve been dancing, only knows that three maybe four songs have passed.  But the beat is starting to pick up, become less sensual and he doesn’t want to lose this moment.

 

“Wanna…”  But he’s cut off as Niall stands on his tip toes and presses his lips to Harry’s.  He shuffles in close, and Harry grabs those narrow hips of his, grinding together as they kiss. It’s slow and hot and the heat from the club makes everything feel heavy and slow. Even though they are in public and everyone can see them, the rest of the club fades for Harry as all he does is focus on Niall

 

“I wanna blow you.”  Niall whispers as he pulls away, and Harry nods because he is totally down with that.   Harry grabs his hand, walking him off the dance floor, quickly and Niall laughs as he stumbles to keep up, those shots apparently affecting him a little.  He finally gets to the back hallway where there is a line of single stall unisex bathrooms.  He finds one with the green ‘vac’ sign and pulls Niall in behind him, sliding the lock shut.

 

Then Niall is pressing against him, hand cupping his rapidly hardening prick, tongue licking inside his mouth.  He stumbles back until he’s resting against the sink counter. He moans as the blond applies pressure, hips pressing up against his hand. He brings his hands up, cupping Niall face, not letting him pull away as they kiss.

 

It’s wet and frantic and there is too much teeth and he taste the copper of blood as he pulls away, tongue sliding across his lower lip where his lip cracked.  It’s a distant thought but he remembers what Liam told him earlier.

 

“I don’t do relationships.”  Harry mutters, watching as Niall pulls away and looks up at him, his eyes are clear and belays his stumbling steps from earlier.  He knows what he’s doing.  But Harry needs to make sure that he isn’t leading him on.   His eyes widen as he watches as Niall drops to his knees, hands on the fly of his jeans.

 

“I just wanna suck your dick, is that ok?”  Niall asks him, and his accent is heavier than it was before, it makes him hotter, cock twitching in his jeans.

 

“Please,” And it comes out as a whine, but Niall pays no mind, doesn’t mock him.  Harry watches as the other boy, unbuttons, then unzips his fly, then pulls down his jeans, and pants below his hips so his hard cock bounces up against his stomach before standing out from his body.  “But it’s your birthday.”  Harry pants, speaking rashly, it’s why they are here, celebrating tonight.  “I should be doing this for you.” 

 

“Trust me.  This is a great birthday present.”  He murmurs and Harry can feel his breath on his cock making it twitch.  Niall places on hand right behind the head, making sure the foreskin is pulled back, as he licks at the tip, tongue pressing into the slit, and Harry moans because it feels so incredible and he’s thought about this, fantasized about this, and now it happening.  Niall looks so good on his knees.

 

He’s always been a visual person, but seeing Niall on his knees, spreading his lips to take the head of his prick into his mouth and suck just wrecks him.  Soon, Niall is licking up and down his cock, and then slowly starting to pump his cock as he sucks on the head.  He can’t stop his hips from jerking.  He rests his hands on the sides of Niall’s face, thumbs massaging the stretch in his jaw.  He fights to keep his eyes open, watch as Niall sucks down his cock. And he’s good, his hands confidently stroking, tongue tracing the veins running under his cock and pressing against the glands under the head.  It’s like he’s made for sucking his prick, hitting all his buttons, his lips bright red around his thickness.

 

Niall slows down, and then look up at him, his eyes are wet, lashes clumped together, eyes dark and he slackens his jaw and then stops moving.  He winks at Harry and he swears that he would be smirking if he didn’t have a mouth full of cock.   He knows his eyes must be wide, shocked.

 

“You-you, want me to fuck you mouth?” His breaths are coming out in pants his body shaking and Harry was already close.  At Niall’s nod, he moves his hands to the back of his head holding gently as he starts to thrust, hips stuttering, until he can smooth out a rhythm.  He can feel the head of his cock, hitting the back of this throat, the compression around it when he accidentally gags Niall on his cock.  It doesn’t take long until he’s close, so close, heat curling in his abdomen, the muscles in his core and thighs shaking.  He pries his eyes open when he realizes they’ve drifted shut and he looks down, Niall’s looking at him hums around him.

 

His orgasm is curling in his belly and he tightens his fingers in the blond tipped hair, moving faster, in and out of his slick hot mouth.  He can’t control the words that are coming out of his mouth barely recognizes that he’s saying them.

 

“ _Fucking_ _gorgeous, take it, suck it, please, please, please, so good, look gorgeous on your knees for me,”_ He watches as Niall presses his one hand against his own dick, unbuttoning his own jeans, hand down his pants, and he presses in coming down Niall’s throat.  A harsh moan is ripped from his throat as his dick jerks in his mouth.   He doesn’t stay there, not wanting to gag him; he pulls his dick out, it twitches across his lips, come smearing on Niall’s face, over his lips and cheeks, and he pulls him up, kisses him, grabbing Niall’s hand off his own cock wrapping his around it instead.

 

He jacks him slow, rubbing his hand over the head, getting his hand wet with the precome leaking from the head of his dick.  He pulls away, lips racing down his neck “You did so well.  Now it’s your turn, come for me.”  He whispers it darkly into Niall’s neck, biting, and Niall’s dick is twitching in his hand as he comes, a whine escaping his throat.  Harry cups his hand around his dick, catching his release doing his best to keep it off both their clothes.  Niall drops his head against Harry’s collarbone.  He can feel his hot breath panting across his chest, where his button up shirt is only half buttoned

 

Harry grabs a paper towel wiping his hand off before putting his hand back on Niall arse.  He loves that arse, can’t wait to own it, but right now he just pulls him close.

 

“That was fucking fantastic,”  Harry tells him, kissing his temple, tracing a line down his cheek before licking the come off his cheeks, then his lips, kissing him again, digging the taste of himself out of Niall’s mouth.  He starting to get worked up again, so he pulls away because a blow job in the loo is fine, but if he’s going to fuck Niall he wants to take his time to start.  “Can I get your phone number now?”

 

Niall laughs and Harry loves it.  He watches as Niall grabs Harry’s iPhone from his back pocket, has Harry put in the number code and then he enters his number then calls his own phone.  They tidy up, trying to look like they didn’t just do what they just did in the bathroom, and they can’t stop their laughter.

 

“Can I buy you a drink?”  Niall asks, his voice sounds deep, rough, and Harry smiles because he knows what caused it.

 

“No, but I’ll buy you one, birthday boy or maybe even two, or maybe drinks will be on me for the rest of the night.  Because, you know, it’s your birthday.”  And Niall smiles all bright eyes and perfect teeth, and Harry wants to always put that look on his face.

 

“I might let you.”  They sneak out of the bathroom, laughing as they are obviously caught by the one girl waiting in line, who just rolls her eyes before walking in the bathroom they just vacated.

 

They gravitate around each other the rest of the night, never getting too far apart.  Harry keeps him supplied with drinks and they end up spending a lot of the night with Liam, Louis, and Danielle.  When Niall sits next to him, he lays his hand on his thigh moving it up and down, and it’s not like Harry thought he had big hands, but when he looks down his hand just covers his thigh and it’s not like Niall’s tiny, but he’s skinny and he can feel the muscle in that leg as it bounces up and down.  Niall hand falls on top of his, callused fingers messing with his rings before returning to his drink, and when he looks over at Niall he’s smiling at him.

 

At last call, it’s time for them to go their separate ways, Liam’s a little bit drunk, so Harry’s decides to take him home, they all can walk part of the way home together, they just have different tube stops.  Liam’s giggly when he’s drunk, so when they all get on the tube to head back towards campus, Harry secures him in a seat, before grabbing Niall and pulling him to his side.

 

“When can I see you again?”  Harry asks his voice pitched deep, making sure Niall knows what he’s really asking.  Louis and Danielle are keeping Liam occupied, the three of them laughing over something.

 

For a minute Niall’s eyes get serious, “I’ve never done this before.”  And Harry waits for more, needing a better definition, “Never just had a fuck buddy before, I mean blowies are one thing but...”  Harry nods, understanding.  He doesn’t want to push, doesn’t want to make him uncomfortable, “but soon, yeah?”

 

 Harry looks quick over his shoulder, all three are distracted, something about the benefits of Batman versus Superman, Danielle laughing over the two boys bickering; so Harry takes a chance and dives in, kissing Niall quick, just stealing his breath.  It’s so easy almost effortless, kissing Niall, but it still makes his heart skip a beat.

 

“Soon, yeah.”  Harry repeats as the train stops and Harry grabs Liam to take him back to his place.  Liam can find his own way home tomorrow.   “Happy Birthday Ni!”  He yells as the door closes and takes them away, the nick name falling easily off his lips. He laces his arm around Liam’s waist and the brown eyed boy eyes him slyly.

 

“You got lucky.”  Liam accuses, drunkenly slurring.

 

“Yes, I did.”  And Liam laughs and it makes him stumble.

 

“Styles, sometimes you amaze me.” And Harry laughs with him.

 

He wakes with a marching band in his head and what feels like a dirty sock in his mouth and even then he’s smiling.  He ends up spending most of Saturday hung over and re-hydrating, before going in to work an early shift on Sunday morning.  Apparently Niall had done the same, but now that he had Harry’s number he had tracked him down on snapchat, so he now Harry has visuals of his day as it went along, including now knowing what the Niall’s bedroom looked like.  It did not seem to help with his regularly occurring fantasies.

 

Now that he has Niall’s phone number he doesn’t hesitate to reach out.  And it’s weird because normally he would be worried about what he should say or not say and how he would make himself not look like the absolute knob he actually is.  But Niall is so open and honest and kind of a dork himself and it just sets him at ease. He’s even started sending him jokes.  At one point Niall had called and asked him not to send jokes during class since he broke out in laugher at class and his professor thought he was laughing at him, he’d almost had points deducted.

 

Harry was just pleased he found one of his jokes funny.

 

Harry was attached to his phone constantly texting back and forth with the occasional call and occasionally a bad pun.  It’s been a busy couple weeks but it’s finally Friday and his classes are over and he's not working this weekend and but Niall and it’s been two weeks of texting Niall back and forth, snapping pictures here or there and he really wants to try to figure out where this is going.  Because he can’t figure out of that blow job in the bathroom was the beginning or the end, but the more he talks to the blue eyed boy he really hopes that it’s the start.  He also knows how weird the friends with benefits thing is if you haven’t done it before.   He’s done it only a couple times and finds that most of the time it’s easier to just do the one nights stand or at least lately, not that he’s a slag or anything.  His classes have been pretty demanding lately so it’s not like he’s hooking up with someone every weekend.  

 

He already knows more about Niall than he does some of his other friends and on top of that he spent quite a bit of time stalking him after their first kiss.  And then the blow job in the club, most likely the best of his life (so far), he couldn’t help wanting more.  Grabbing his phone he does what he’s been doing for the past couple weeks.

 

**A chicken crossing a road is poultry in motion**

 

Harry laughs a little and hits sends because sometimes the stuff that Niall sends back is just as funny.

 

**Are you talking about dinner? because chicken sounds good**

Hmm, dinner does sound good… maybe…

**If a clock gets hungry it goes back four seconds**

Because he really can’t help himself, he’s just waiting for the day that Niall comes back with his own joke.

 

**Soooooo going to Nando’s then the library**

**coming?**

Harry lets out a laugh because, yes, he’s coming.  To spend time with Niall in person, fuck yes, he will take that.

 

**Yes, meet you @ Nandos**

He walks back to his apartment, drops off the books he doesn’t need and then grabs his reading material.  If Niall is going to make him go to the library he might as well get some work done.

 

He assumes that Niall will go to the Nando’s closest to campus, so he grabs a hair tie, puts up his curls and then stuffs a beanie on.   The cold September air is frosty when he starts the walk, his breath steaming in the air.  He’s close enough to both the Nando’s and the library.  Fact is that Niall will have to walk by his place to get home; they actually live fairly close to one another, only one tube stop really.

 

When he finally gets in the door, Niall is already seated at a booth, food and drink on the table.  He’s an incredibly strong student, and hardworking, and Harry’s glad he met him now instead of before.  Because he knows that he probably would have just though that he was a stupid jock.  However he knows that’s not the case.  He is incredibly smart to pass the engineering classes required, plus really talented; he’s heard the boy sing.

And all of this incredibleness is wrapped up in an amazing package.  Niall is shorter than he is but not by much, he’s not ‘tiny’ per se, he’s a _man_.  His hands are strong his shoulders are broad and he’s lean and tone.  But he’s smaller than Harry and he loves it.  Loves that fact that his hands look so large on his body, loves that he’s taller and Niall has to look up to him.  And the dark hair with just the blond tips, and the bright blue eyes, and _oh god_ he’s wearing glasses…. Apparently he can get more attractive.

 

He smiles when he sees Harry and waves, just a slight raise of his hand and a wave of his fingers.  Harry waves back, orders food, and then joins him.  He would think that the small talk should be awkward or weird, but Niall tells him all about the stupid thing Louis is planning for Danielle for Christmas and then he’s talking about Liam and how drunk he was last week. They are very comfortable with each other and Harry is surprised because it normal takes him so long to let his walls down.

 

But with Niall this isn't the case.  He feels like he's known him forever.  Then his heart just melts because then Niall answers a call from his mum.

 

“No, Ma, I’m about to study with a friend”… he nods and rolls his eyes at Harry, “His name is Harry, Ma.”…. nods again, “Love you too, bye!”  He tells his mum he loves him in front of people, in Harry’s eyes Niall couldn’t be a better person.

 

It’s still relatively early, by the time they finish eating.  Apparently Niall has to get his homework done tonight because there is a special production going on at the radio station this weekend, and he doesn’t want to risk not getting his school work done. 

 

“School feels different now.  When I was on the scholarship I just needed to make sure I passed, but now, me and me ma are paying for the classes.  I have to do well.”

 

“I get that.  How is the internship?”  It was almost a month ago that he remembered reading that he had gotten the position.  It was before they were ‘talking,’ he was still impressed with himself for remembering though.

 

“Busy, but I’m learning a lot.  I am starting to work in the rooms with the DJs and controlling the different segment changes and stuff.  I still hope to get in with a music studio since that’s more the engineering side that I want to go into.  How about you, how is your project?” 

 

Harry starts rattling off about it and the different things he learned and then he’s talking about the bakery and Barbra.  Before he knows it they are walking to the library finding a seat and being continually being hushed by a librarian.

 

It feels like they’re studying but it’s still bright with potential and shimmering with intent, and Niall’s foot keeps hitting his under the table and rubbing against it.  It’s probably the most flirtatious and arousing study session he’s ever experienced in his life.

 

It seems like the night flies by and before he knows it the library is getting ready to close.  They’re packing up, slowly, hesitating because neither of them are really ready to end the night.  Harry’s long legs are walking towards the door keeping a slow pace when he finally asks.

 

“Do you want to come back to mine?”  By this time Harry already knows that Niall left to give Danielle and Louis some privacy, and Niall knows that Harry lives alone.  It’s not a secret what he’s asking.  Niall still looks a little unsure.  His blue eyes are steady though when he meets his.  “You don’t have to-”

 

“I’ve just never done anything like this before, blow jobs are one thing, full on shagging is another.  I don’t know the rules.”  His voice his hesitant but he’s interested.  They keep walking slow and steady away from the closing library and toward their train stop and then his apartment.   The air is slightly chilly and Harry’s glad he grabbed his beanie.  Niall looks cold though, his cheeks and ears are red.  

 

“Not rules really, it’s just shagging.  We aren’t boyfriends…”

 

“But what if you want to shag someone else?”

 

“Then I tell you and we can stop shagging.  We can be respectful about it.”  Niall tilts his head and looks Harry up and down, stopping again when their eyes meet.

 

“So we just shag when we want, no emotions involved, and if we want to shag someone else we just tell each other?”  Harry doesn’t really like the idea of Niall wanting to shag someone else, but he pushes down the spike of jealousy and nods.

 

“And it’s easy, you don’t have to flirt or seduce, you don’t have to buy drinks, you don’t have to ask permission or work hard at a relationship or fight or break up, ya know, the shitty parts.”

 

“It sounds just a little too easy.”  Niall smiles though and Harry returns it.  He looks at his phone, like he’s checking the time, but he’s not because they both already know what time the library closed. “I don’t have a whole lotta time, gotta be home and in bed by 11.”  The way he says it makes it sounds like a challenge.

 

“That’s plenty of time. I only live a couple streets over from you.  One tube stop.”  So that may have come out a little more eager than he would have liked but…

 

“Plenty of time?”  Niall questions raising a brow and smirking at him.  Harry grabs his hand, lacing their fingers together, starting to pull him towards his place.  The flirting banter is getting his blood pumping.

 

“C’mon, I’ve been thinking about having you under me since you walked away from me at that lift.”  Niall’s eyes widen at that, like the thought of him being desirable is bizarre.

“Really Ni,” the nick-name rolls off his lips, “you don’t know how much I’ve thought about it.”  Niall stops in his tracks.  He pulls Harry to him, placing his cool hands on either side of his face, presses his body up against him and his cool lips are on his.  It’s just a quick press of lips, but it tells Harry what he needs to know.

 

“I’ll give anything a shot once.”  Niall laughs, “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”  But then he’s kissing him again and Harry forgets for a second that they are on the sidewalk.  Instead he wraps his arms around his waist and kisses him deep, licking into his mouth, pulling him close. 

 

Harry pulls away letting out a laugh before gabbing Niall back by the hand, walking them both the short distance to his building, before pulling him into the small lobby.  He pulls Niall to him still awkward from their book bags, laughing as he’s pressing his lips to his then to his cold ears, to his neck. 

 

They shuffle up the stairs and then Harry is digging for his keys, opening the door, and letting Niall in.  

 

He watches Niall take in the small apartment- the kitchen, small with an island separating it from the living room that houses the small TV he barely turns on, then the cluttered, crowded bookshelves, a beat up desk, and the old blue patterned sofa.  He has black and white pictures scattered about filled with friends and family and makes the place feel warm and comfy.  There is a small bathroom and his bed room down the hall. 

 

He drops his backpack down on the ground near the door, grabs Niall’s and lifts it off his shoulders as he spins around to face him.  He drops the bag behind him, then pulls Niall close, warming his cold hands under his coat, pressing his lips to Niall’s to warm those too. 

 

Niall huffs out a laugh against his lips but keeps kissing him, pulling the beanie off his head, only to tug on the hair tie to dig his hands in his hair.  He ‘hmms’ against his lips, because that feels heavenly he loves having his hair played with.   Harry peels the other boy’s coat off, pulling away to hang it on one of the hooks, then does the same with his own, kicking off his boots.

 

“You sure?”  Harry asks he has to make sure.  But Niall looks at him eyes bright as he kicks his tennis shoes off.  He tangles his hands in Harry’s shirt and starts walking backwards toward the hall.  Harry walks with him, before pushing forward, into him, hands on his hips, lifting Niall up off his feet, and he’s not light, but he’s not heavy, especially not when he wraps himself around him, his lips settling into Harry’s neck, biting with those perfect teeth sending shivers through his limbs.

 

He loves the way Niall feels wrapped around him and he really wants him naked now.

 

He kicks the door open, lays Niall down on the un-made bed, legs slightly hanging off the edge.  He climbs up over him caging him in, kissing him, and stealing his breath, lips wet and smooth.  He traces his hands up and under his shirt, reading his body trying to find the spots to drive him crazy, he wants to learn them all, memorize them, and ruin Niall so he never wants to be with anyone else. Slow, he wants to take this slow.

 

His thumbs brush against his nipples and it causes his chest to rise up, press against Harry’s and he does it again, this time earning a groan.

 

Niall has one hand tangled in his hair, the other one his trying to pull up Harry’s shirt up. Harry pulls away, lets Niall shuffle back on the bed, and pulls off his shirt, nodding at Niall to do the same, but he ignores him, instead pressing up to trace his tattoo’s, callused fingers causing goosebumps across his chest.  His hands move lower tracing across the laurels on his hip bones. 

 

“I don’t remember these.”  He whispers and his voice is dark and low, Harry feels it along his skin.

 

“You were more focused on my lower half at the time.”  Harry points out, the memory of Niall on his knees mouth full of his cock twisting his stomach.

 

When Niall looks back up at him his eyes are dark and he licks his lips, like he’s also reliving the memory.  But its Harry’s turn this time, he wants to take him apart bit by bit and that is his plan.  He starts with finally getting the other boy’s shirt off, uses his fingers and lips to explore his chest, small bites down his chest, the gasps and intakes of breath mapping his way.  

 

His hands find the snap of his jeans and then he’s unbuttoning and pulling down his jeans, peeling them off his thighs, his pants follow and then Harry has him gloriously naked. He can’t help but stare even though it seems to make Niall uncomfortable, blush covering his cheeks and neck.  He looks down to catch a red scar on Niall knee and he leans down to kiss it.

 

Harry steps back from the bed, keeping his eyes on Niall, but stripping off his jeans and his pants.   His own cock is aching and hard away from his belly and Niall spreads his legs making room for Harry.  He opens the nightstand drawer grabbing the full tube of lube and a condom and throws them down near the pillows; it’s been a while, so long actually he’s tempted to check the expiration date, he may stay away from relationships but he’s not a slag. When he finally settles back over him, Niall’s fingers dig into the flesh of his shoulders as he pulls him close. He lets his lips devour Niall’s as their hips settle against each other and start a slow grind. 

 

There’s a slow sensual fog that’s settled in Harry’s head, but he likes it, it helps take away the need to rush.  He uses his hands and explores every inch then pulls his lips away from Niall to trace them down his neck.  He never lets his lips leave his skin and by the time he makes his way down to Niall’s cock, it’s thick, red, and leaking.  He can feel his body heating from the inside out and when he peeks up  Niall’s flush has moved down to his chest, Harry hopes he’s over heating too.  His blue eyes are closed as he takes deep panting breaths.

 

Niall’s hands wrap up in his curls, trying to move him where he wants him.  “Please, please, come on,” Harry loves it, the way his voice cracks as he pleads, but he waits, hands firm on his hips to keep him from pressing up.  Finally he licks at the tip of his cock before taking the head in his mouth. 

 

“Oh god!”  And he’s vocal, moaning as Harry swallows him down, the sounds are amazing as he lets go with one hand to pat the pillows searching for the lube, cussing in his head when he has to pull away to get it  uncapped and then spreading some on his fingers.  He ducks back down taking Niall back into his mouth and relishing the moan that it draws from the blond. He traces his fingers down the cleft of his arse, circling the whorl he finds there, massaging, letting the lube warm before pressing his first finger in.

 

It drawls a long keening whimper from Niall’s lips and Harry looks up through his lashes only to find Niall already looking down, eyes fixated on him.   He slowly moves his finger out, pressing back in, massaging the walls. His mouth doesn’t stop moving up and down as he pulls out only to press in with another finger, massaging and curling, causing Niall’s hips to press up into his mouth.  He establishes a rhythm teasing, sucking, stretching, and trying to drive the blond mad.  He’s relentless.  He wants Niall to come undone.

 

It doesn’t take long before his hands tug on his hair.  “Haz, Haz, I’m going to come, you need to stop, please, please.”  His voice is rough and he’s panting and Harry’s not sure which one he’s begging for.

 

He hums out a negative, still curling his fingers, pressing in his bundle of nerves moving his mouth up and down.  He feels Niall’s dick twitching in his mouth and then he’s coming down his throat with a guttural moan. 

 

Harry sucks everything down then pulls off his cock, moving slow kisses up his chest before slanting over his lips and plunging in his mouth, sharing the salty taste of him.  Niall’s hands are still in his hair and even though he’s just come Niall’s lips are frantic on his and it may have to do with his fingers still moving slowly inside of him, continuing to tease him. 

 

He tears away from his lips to look down at him, let both of them attempt to catch their breath.  His blue eyes are dark with lust and his cheeks ruddy with a blush.  His lips are slick and wet and with a moan he leans down to kiss them again.  He never wants anyone else to see Niall like this, this is his, and at least right now it is.

 

“I wasn’t joking when I said I thought about this a lot.  I want to do everything to you.”  He presses a third finger against his rim, pressing in, and Niall’s hips press up arching against his hand. He’s whimpering as he pulls Harry down to kiss him.  They share slow sloppy kisses both too uncoordinated to worry about finesse.  Harry pulls away to look down Niall’s body and can’t help the smirk when he realizes that he’s already half hard again, just from his fingers and his kisses.

 

“Wipe that smirk off your face.”  His voice is deep, Irish accent lacing his words more than normal, Harry can’t help but hope that he always sounds like this when he’s turned on.

 

He takes his words to heart dipping down, covering his mouth with his,  sneaking his tongue in his mouth, teasing Niall’s into his, tongues dancing and caressing.  His fingers do the same, pressing into that sweet spot that keeps causing Niall’s hips to jerk up and slam against his hand.  Twisting his face away he growls, “Stop fucking teasing me.”

 

“I’m not teasing, I’m…” He pants out a laugh.

 

“Teasing, get that dick in me Styles and show me what you’re made of.”  It’s a demand Harry has no problem getting behind, he pulls away, fingers slipping out, and before he knows it, Niall has the condom in his hand, ripping it open, and pinching the tip to roll it down his prick.  He grabs the lube next and slathering it on him. 

 

He lays back down situating himself on a pillow, raising a brow at Harry in challenge, and he can’t help but let out a laugh.

 

“So mouthy.”  It’s accompanied with a bite to his shoulder.

 

“You like it.”

 

“I like you.”  He lines up and lifts one leg and hooks it over his arm then presses in slow and smooth.  He raises Niall’s other leg to hook over his hip and moves his hips, in and out just once because the blond boy feels tight, and he’s hot, and he feel amazing around him.  He thrust again, keeping it nice and slow.

 

“God, you’re big…”  It’s drawn out over a moan.  Harry ducks down to kiss his neck, shifting Niall’s leg that’s resting on his arm down to his hip so he can link his feet together holding them fast together.  He stops the motion of his hips, staying pressed in balls tight against Niall’s bum.   He feels so good wrapped around him, pulsing and hot.

 

“Too much?”  Harry asks he’s panting, doing his best to hold still, but his hips keep twitching, pressing in.   He doesn’t want to hurt Niall, but loves right now how small Niall feels under him, chest pinned under his, those lean legs wrapped around him.

 

“No, feels good, just right.  It’s just- it’s just been a while.”  Niall fingers are grasping into his shoulders, nails biting, clawing and it helps to ground Harry, “God, move, please.”  He rocks his hips trying to urge him on.

 

He does what Niall wants, moving out just to thrust back in, slow and steady strokes, searching for that perfect angle, trying not to lose his sanity.  “I kept dreaming what you would sound like, look like, taste like, and, God, it’s so much better than I imagined. So much better…” he presses his face into his neck, kissing the skin there.  

 

The other boy moans at the words that are slipping out of his mouth.  He lets Niall’s legs fall, but Niall just plants both feet on the bed thrusting up against Harry. 

 

Harry reaches up to grab Niall’s hands, fingers clasping, pulling them up over his body, making him arch up and finally he can feel Niall’s cock against his belly giving him the friction that has him gasping. He pulls his face from his neck admiring the small love bite, before looking down into those hazy blue eyes.

 

“Me too,” Niall confesses breathless, he seems like he wants to say more but instead he presses up, kissing him wet and sloppy, his moans sound like their trapped in his throat. Harry finally finds the right angle, can tell when Niall growls against his lips, fingers clinching on his and he starts to thrust with intent.  He pulls away from the kiss, he needs to breath the both need to, but instead of breathing Niall just pleads, _faster_ , _harder,_ and he does.

 

“Please, please,” and Harry doesn’t know for sure if Niall even knows what he’s begging for but he will do his best to give it to him. He lets one had go and reaches down grasping Niall’s cock in his hand, wrapping around it.  It’s wet, leaking from the head, and he uses that to slick his way. 

 

His own orgasm is coiling in his belly, tight and so close.  His thrusts are getting erratic and faster, his hand keeping pace on the other boy’s cock.  “Are you close Ni?”  He whispers but he can’t seem to speak anymore, instead he just presses his head back arching his neck.  Harry kisses first, before biting down.  Then he’s moaning and coming, clenching around him, and he fucks him through it, hand milking him, before he’s pressing tight against him and comes himself. 

 

For moments, all he can hear are both of their panting breaths from where he collapsed on top of him, before Niall lets out a laugh. 

 

“Hey,” Harry whines, “What’s funny?”

 

“Nothings funny, that was fucking amazing.”  Harry purrs in response, kissing his neck, as Niall brushes his hands through his hair.  He pulls out while he’s still semi hard and disposes of the condom in the bathroom.  He grabs a flannel and wipes himself off, before grabbing a second and walking back to the bedroom. 

 

Niall is still spread across the bed, but he looks up at Harry again when he walks in.  He throws the flannel on his chest, and Niall cleans himself up before standing.  Harry has already pulled on his pants and he sits on the bed as Niall starts searching for his own clothes on orgasm weakened legs.

 

“So now, I just go home and the next time I’m…ready for a shag I give you a call?”  Niall asks.

 

“Or I call you.  We’ll still talk like we have been.  That doesn't have to change.  Nothing has to change. ” Harry stresses because he doesn’t really want that to stop.  Niall has become almost as close to him as his best friend.

 

Niall’s hair is all over the place and his neck still has a red mark from where he bit him.  His lips are bruised, still slick and his cheeks ruddy.  Harry wants to take him back to bed. He wants to leave more marks on him and then cuddle. He doesn’t know what to do with those feelings so he decides it’s best to ignore them.

 

“Ok, I think I see how this can work out.”  Niall lets out a small laugh and Harry takes in those gorgeous blue eyes that have had him hypnotized since they met.

 

“And if either of us wants it to stop, we just say.”  Harry states because he should make sure that’s clear. 

 

“Ok, see you soon?”  Niall raises a brow, finally getting g his kit back on, but really it just makes Harry want to take it all off again.

 

“Yeah, sooner than later.”  Harry agrees, following Niall to the door where he puts on his coat and grabs his bag.

 

“Alright, later then.”  Niall walks over him, and puts a hand to the back of his neck, pulling him down for a dirty kiss with too much tongue. It leaves them both breathless.   He steps away and then gives a wave and then he’s out the door.

 

Harry walks back to the bed with a smile and the bed is still warm and smells like Niall.  He’s asleep before he knows it.

 

\---

**Are you a drum set? because I want to bang you.**

Niall laughs out loud because that one is sorta funny.  He has gotten used to Harry’s jokes and puns.  Loves some of them actually but he knows they usually mean something else.   He grabs his phone calling him, it only takes a second and Harry’s laughing when he answers.

 

“I thought you would like that one.”  His voice is deep and slow and Niall just can’t get over that, just hearing him talk causes shivers.   In the last two weeks, he’s gotten laid more than he did in his last relationship.  It was amazing, Harry was amazing.  But he just didn’t have the time, not tonight.  Their hook-ups usually consisted of him going to Harry’s getting his brains fucked out and then walking home in a daze.  Normally it was great but he just couldn’t spare the time right now.

 

“Haz, I would really love a shag, trust me, but I have to get this reading done.” And it is the honest truth.  Tomorrow is Thursday and his class is at 9:00 in the morning and he would love to have an orgasm, but he just really doesn’t have the time, not to finish here, catch the tube there, then shag, and catch the tube back or walk back.  Maybe they could aim for Friday?  Says this idea out loud.

 

“So idea…I don’t have class until noon, so I come over, and study with you, and once we are both done studying we shag?   It’s like motivation.  Like a diet with a cheat day.”  Niall thinks about it, Louis is gone, over at Danielle’s most likely for the night, maybe it would work?  Harry doesn't have an early class like Niall does.  If he came over that would save a lot of time, and really shouldn’t Harry have to do the work for a shag every now and again?

 

And as he thinks about it, he only has two more chapters, ten questions to answer, and its 6:00.  “No distractions.”  He clarifies, because Harry in the room is already a distraction, he would be helpless if Harry decided to sabotage his study efforts.

 

“Nope, just a shag waiting for you when you’re done.”  It really does seem like great motivation to him.

 

“Hmm, I like it, apartment 5C, see you soon?”

 

“Work fast, Ni,” He’s laughing as he hangs up, twenty minutes later he’s at the door. Since its Harry’s first time here he gives the tour.   They have a rather large kitchen, with a table and an island, large living room, with a sofa and comfy chair, and then the hallway with the two bedrooms and bathroom.  Then they end up in Niall’s room which is kind of the point anyway.

 

Niall sits down at his desk, while Harry sits on the bed back reclining against the head board.  They chat a little bit back and forth, but they do focus on their homework.  And surprisingly he can focus.  He keeps looking at Harry because well, he can't _not_ look at him. The man is sin to look at, long limbed, muscled and toned all over, shirt half unbuttoned to show all the ink on his chest.  Soon Niall will have all those tattoos memorized.  Once Niall emails in the assignment and finally closes his laptop he looks over to Harry, “Are you done?” 

 

“Yeah, I’m a chapter ahead.”  He says looking up from his book.  Niall just smiles, stands, walking his way over, striping off his shirt as he goes and straddles Harry’s thick thighs.  He grabs the book and drops it on the floor. 

 

“I think I was promised a shag.” He can’t help the fact that his cock is already starting to fill up; just having Harry around is enough to turn him on. And knowing what he’s here for, that Niall is about to get opened up and shagged within an inch of his life… Well that enough to turn anyone on, let alone him.

 

Harry smirks at him and god dammit, he loves that smirk.   It sends butterflies straight to his stomach.

 

“Sounds about right,” And Harry pulls him down into a kiss.

 

It seems to settle into an almost routine for Niall, of study, work, and shag.  It’s kinda nice not to worry about hurting someone’s feeling by putting work or school first.  Because Harry gets it and it’s not _like_ that anyways.

 

However they have both discovered that holding off on shagging is a great motivation for getting homework done, and they hold each other to it.

 

Louis just laughs the first time he tells him about it.  Well he doesn’t really have to _tell_ him about it. It didn’t take long for the snarky footballer to figure out that something was going on with his best mate. He is very observant when he wants to be and as soon as Harry started coming over to his place more often instead of him always going to Harry’s it was a little bit more obvious.  He did however seem more than just a little concerned when he found out the terms of the relationship.

 

“So you aren’t dating?”  He asked.

 

“Nope, just shagging’” Niall confirmed.

 

“Mate, don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re not going to be good at that.  Sex is emotional for you.”

 

“I think I’ll take what I can get.”

 

“Is he that good?”  Louis asked.   Niall just looked at him.

 

“Best fuck of me life.” He answered back honestly.  Louis had just dropped the subject.  Partly because he loves having Harry around, the two of them get along great and it makes for easy Netflix nights.  Which started shortly after they first studied/shagged at his place instead of Harry’s, he didn’t seem to like leaving right away, while Niall had made a point to try to walk out the door as soon after as possible.

 

But what he had told Louis about the sex was true.  Nobody can take him apart the way that Harry can.  And he doesn’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.  But he does trust Harry and right now things are working out, though it is a lot harder than he thought to try to keep his emotions in check, especially the more he keeps hanging around.

 

September ends and soon October is rolling along.  Niall finds himself making plans with Harry regularly.  They have the tendency to eat out once a week or so and then Harry wants to catch a movie, so they start doing that every once in a while. And they feel like dates but he keeps reminding himself that this is what friends do.  He’s careful not to touch Harry, put his arm around him, or hold his hand.  Harry doesn’t seem to do the same and is always in his space, throwing an arm over his shoulder or grabbing his hand to get him to where he wants him to go. 

 

He reminds himself constantly they are just friends that have sex, really awesome sex.  That’s what they do. That’s all they are.

 

 It helps when they meet up just for sex.  That seems to make it easier for Niall to define.  So he ends up trying to make it just about the sex.   They meet up at the library and he takes him home.  They meet at bar, he drags Harry into the loo.  The one time they go back to the club, he lets Harry open him up and bend him over the counter and fuck him, watching in the mirror the entire time.  

 

When Halloween rolls around, he dresses as a pirate, and when Harry sees him at a house party of a friend, he drags him into a bed room and Harry strips down his slacks and pants and uses his mouth to make him come before even saying hello.   He walks home with a limp and a smile that night.

 

But he already knows that Louis was right, he is too emotional and he knows that he is not going to handle it well when Harry comes up to him to tell him he found someone else to shag.  His heart clenches just thinking about it, so he just doesn’t, locks those thoughts away in a box and does his best to ignore them.

 

He keeps telling himself it’s just sex, but he knows it’s a lie.  He’s not always great at lying to himself.

 

He keeps telling himself the rules and making up his own as he goes.  _Don’t fall asleep, don’t stay the night, don’t talk about the future, don’t make dates, don’t meet the family_.  The list keeps getting longer in his head and it makes him tense, makes him anxious.   But he likes being with Harry too much to throw it all away and call it off before it goes too far.  He has a feeling that it’s already gone too far.

 

Harry continually fills his thoughts.  And that’s nothing new.

 

It doesn’t help that Harry always there.  Niall always feels his green eyes on him.  Harry’s always touching him either holding his hand or has his hand on his lower back guiding him.  He swears that Harry has a special smile just for him, and sometimes when they fuck it feels like more, in the way they touch, in the way they kiss. It’s in the way he watches Niall come undone, the intense way he hold Niall’s gaze when they come together.

 

He’s already in too deep, and he knows it.

 

He’s walking back from his last class for the day and he’s pulled away from his thoughts by his phone ringing.

 

“Hey, Ma.  What’s up?”  Niall asks, keeping his head down as he walks across the campus.  In his mind it helps keep him warm as the chill reaches through his coat.  November is going out with a vengeance, chilling the air and making the short walk to and from campus all the more miserable.

 

“Will it be just you at the Christmas Party, dear?  Or will your _friend_ be joining you?”  He can hear the emphasis on friend; he knows what his mum is implying.  And he’s been doing his best to not keep questioning it.  

 

“What’d ya mean?  As far as I know it’s just me.”  And it’s true.  He doesn’t plan on bringing anyone else home for Christmas this year. 

 

“I’m talking about Harry, dear.   Ask him for me.  You know I love to meet your friends and your boyfriends.”

 

“Ma, we aren’t dating we’re just friends.” He feels like he needs to keep saying it. _Just friends, just friends._  

 

“Sure seems like something more, most of the time I text or call you your with him these days.”   His mom did call a lot when Harry was around but it was just her timing. _Were they really spending that much time together?_  

 

Sometimes he lets those _bad_ thoughts sink in.  Maybe this had moved beyond just shagging?  He couldn’t lie to himself anyway; his heart would beat twice as fast when he saw Harry.  Just seeing a text or snap from him would make him smile. But this wasn’t really something that he was going to discuss with his mother, no matter how much he valued her opinion.  He was on his own, but maybe he would ask, just to see what he says.  Ask him to the Christmas Party, he could see what he says, maybe he would say yes and Niall would be bringing him home for Christmas?  Maybe they are more than he thinks they are? Could they?

 

“Ma, we still have another three weeks of school left, before I come home.  I’ll ask him as it gets closer.”  His phone beeps and he realizes that Harry had just text him and beat him to his place. 

 

“Just let me know so I can plan for food.  Are Lou and any of the team coming this year?”  His moms Christmas party was a big deal back home.   Last year most of the team came for it, had a blast.  He can hear clatter on the other end, she must be doing something, baking maybe; he misses his ma’s food. He's looking forward to going home.

 

“Not that I know. Lou’s busy and I don’t talk to as many of them these days.”  He says it with slight frown.  He’s still friends with a couple from the team but many of them have moved on from him since his injury.

 

“Oh honey, don't worry ‘bout that. You're real friends are still with you.”  It did kinda hurt to see his number of friends drop since his injury, but his mom was right.  Besides, he still had Louis, Eoghan, Deo, Justin, and now Harry and Liam.

 

“I'm not Ma, besides when you have less people to distract you classes are a bit easier.” Even though that’s kind of a lie, Harry is more distracting than the whole football team, but he isn’t going to mention that.  He finally walks in the door to the apartment complex, shaking off the cold; he starts up the stairs, listening to his mom chatter.  He finally gets to the top floor, and he's struck dumb.

 

Harry’s sitting up by his door, knees pulled up, beanie pulled down over his long hair, reading a book that he has rested on his knees.  Niall loses his breath because still he’s struck by how beautiful Harry is.   This Adonis is waiting for him?  What in the world did he do to deserve this? 

 

“Hey Ma, I gotta go.  Harry’s here.”  Harry looks up at this and smiles at Niall, standing slowly, tucking his book back in his bag.

 

“See baby, I told you so. I love you. Be good.”  It makes him smile.

 

“Love you too ma. And I will. ” He ends the call, sliding it in his back pocket.  “Hey Haz,” He does his best not to tip his head up.  He doesn’t expect a kiss, doesn’t seek one out, that’s a _boyfriend thing_ right?  He lets both of them in, Harry’s hand is on his waist and he tucks his head into Niall’s neck to whisper, “Hey.”

 

When they get all the way in Niall reaches into the little drawer by the side table. Niall’s hands are clammy as he digs it out, because he knows that this goes a little beyond their _relationship._  He hands Harry the key that Louis and Niall had made for him.  Louis loves having Harry around and since Danielle had a key, Louis thought Harry should have one too.  Niall tries not to think about it too hard.  What Louis thinks they really are... what it has started to feel like they are.

 

“What this?”  Harry asks, holding the key up, squinting at it.

 

“A key to our place, that way you don’t have to wait outside.”  Harry gets a serious look on his face.

 

“Are you sure?”  Harry asks.

 

“It was Lou’s idea.  It just makes sense.”  Harry nods, and then pulls out his key chain to add it.  Niall’s not going to think about how seeing him do that warms his heart.  _This means something, Harry said_ yes. But it doesn’t, not really.

 

Harry follows him closely to his room, kissing him the second the door is closed behind them.  They spend the next couple hours taking each other apart piece by piece.

 

\----

 

 

Next thing Niall knows it end of term.  He’s just finished his finals, when his phone beeps. Sometimes he thinks that Harry stalks him with how well he times things.

 

**The past. The present. And the future walk into a bar.  It was tense.**

Niall laughs as he reads it, but can read Harry’s jokes like a second language at this point.  He should, its two and half months into their non- _relationship_.

 

**So you are going to the pub then?  I’ll be there after I grab food.**

They weren’t at the pub long, before Harry was whispering darkly in his ear, “Can we celebrate at my place?”  Accompanied by a grope to his bum.  Harry’s place is closer, and Niall is pretty sure that Danielle is staying over with Louis tonight so Niall had just nodded.  He had glanced at Louis, but over the last couple months his gazed had changed from jokingly mocking to concern.  He knew Niall was in love with Harry. But Niall just kept on going.  He’d even tried to talk to him, but the problem was Niall _knew,_ he already knew that this was going to end in disaster, and most likely happen tonight.

 

Within moments of walking into Harry’s flat, their only goal is to get naked and to the bed to celebrate with orgasms, hopefully multiple. Amazing orgasms since Harry can play his body like a fine tuned instrument.

He arches up at the loss of Harry’s fingers inside of him, his groan louder than he would normally allow but considering that he’d just had his brain sucked out of his dick he figured that it was allowed.  He can’t seem to catch his breath; his orgasm still tingling though his body, the taste of Harry still in his mouth.  Harry gets up to go to the bathroom coming back with a wet flannel that he uses to wipe both of them off before dropping it on the nightstand.  He falls back to the bed sprawled out next to Niall both sated and naked. 

 

“So do you and your mum have your whole break planned?”  Niall asks after both their breathing had calmed.   He'd had a weight in his stomach, his own ma’s words still ringing in his head from their earlier conversation weeks ago.  So many times he’s wanted to ask, but he’s too scared about what it means.  What Harry’s answer means.  But Harry leaves tomorrow, he needs to ask tonight, he’s has to ask tonight.

 

“Most of it, why?”  His chest is no longer heaving; his hand is resting on his stomach over his large moth tattoo.   Niall peaks down to his dick, where he must have started to get hard again while getting Niall off, god, the pair of them are insatiable. Right now all he can think about is _more._

 

“I know it’s really out of the way but my mom invited you to come over to our Christmas party.  It’s the Friday before Christmas.”

 

“Why would your mom want me to come?”  He pauses a bit before he asks, that pause already tells Niall what he needs to know.  But he had thought about this, he knew this was a likely outcome, he had planned for it even.

 

“Well, she knows that I’ve been hanging out with you a lot…”  Niall starts, looking up at his face.  His eyes are still closed, but he seems to have frozen.  This was it, he needed to back pedal, he didn’t want to make Harry uncomfortable, and that was not what their relationship was about.

 

“Well, yeah, but we’re just friends that shag; I don’t think that means I get to go home for Christmas.  Kinda awkward if you know what I mean.”  Harry’s words echoing in his head.  If the pause and confusion wasn’t enough of an answer this was. F _riends that shag,_ Niall _has_ definitely gotten his wires crossed. Harry beyond a doubt is not looking for a boyfriend, definitely hadn’t started thinking of them as such that much is apparent, _he knew that,_ even if Niall thought that they already kinda were, _even when they weren’t._.  But those words had come out of his mouth with such ease, not even realizing that he is breaking Niall’s heart.  Niall looks back up at the ceiling focusing on his breathing, in and out just like normal.

 

“No worries, Haz, my mom just loves meeting my friends.” And that's true, he’s not lying there. _He knew this could happen … he planned for this possibility._  “We’ll see each other as soon as we get back.”  His words barely shake and he’s proud of that, because Niall knows it’s a lie as soon as it leaves his lips.  Harry leaves tomorrow; he leaves the day after that.  But his thoughts have been confirmed, this is going nowhere.  He doesn’t need to ask any other questions.

 

Harry and Niall are not ‘HarryandNiall’ and that is not changing. He knows that the best thing to do is come back and return as friends, avoid the shagging.  Because his emotions are already involved, a lot involved so…

 

He continues to ask questions, steering them away from talks of their relationship and more about home and break. Harry talks soft and slow, filling Niall in on all the plans that he has.  From tomorrow when he leaves to right after New Year’s he has his whole break planned out with only a couple days here or there to just ‘hang out.’  As he talks he pulls Niall in closer, warming him with his body heat.  He tucks himself into Harrys side an arm around his chest, head on his shoulder.

 

Niall’s mind is whirling; he knows what he’s in for.  He’s been falling for Harry since this thing started at Liam’s birthday, that first kiss outside the bar, hell, probably started  when they got stuck in the damn lift together.  But that’s over now, this has to be over, or he is just setting himself up to get his heart smashed.  Harry has been honest from the get-go, he doesn’t do relationships.  That hasn’t changed, no matter what Niall felt.

 

But he still has this - one last time with Harry and he’s going to make it one to remember.   He’ll ring in the New Year partying with his friends and family, back in Ireland.  He knows that Harry may have someone else to kiss at his New Years; selfishly he hopes Harry would tell him if he was going to sleep with someone else over the holiday. But there were no rules with this, they have been exclusive while here at university but what does going away on break mean with their ‘ _relationship.’_ But the truth is Harry owes him nothing, absolutely nothing.

 

It’s his fault and his emotions that got him into this.

 

His fault that he has fallen in love with someone who doesn’t want to love him.

 

He takes in the beautiful man under him, bronzed inked skin, tone muscle, and dark curling hair.  He moves up on to his side, resting on his elbow, face resting on his fist, and waits until Harry looks over at him.  It takes a minute but Harry finally opens his eyes and look at him, eye brow raised.  Niall gives him a smile then swings a leg over Harry’s hips, looking him straight in the eye.  They’re so green, vibrant and beautiful; he’ll miss seeing them blown out with arousal.

 

He knows that everything he feels is most likely written on his face but he doesn’t care.  Leaning down he presses his lips against Harry’s, licking into Harry’s mouth teasing him.  He trails his lips, down his jawline, biting his ear lobe with his teeth before whispering, “Ready for another round?”   Before moving over to kiss him again, hips shifting, his own cock fattening up.

 

“Hmm, definitely, always ready for you.”  Harry mutters, kissing his lips, then just under his chin.

 

Harry’s hands dig into his arse, moving him in a grinding motion, so Niall can feel that his cock is still half hard.  Niall keeps up the grinding motion, moving back to kiss his neck, his collarbones, tracing those tattoos, deeply loving the feeling of Harry getting harder against him.  He loves Harry’s dick, loves it in his arse, in his mouth, in his hand, he just loves making Harry come. 

 

He kisses down his chest, finding one nipple to bite before moving on to the other.   He traces his hands down either side of his body, worshipping him, memorizing the feel and taste of him.  But he’s already had his dick is his mouth tonight, now he wants it inside him.  And now he knows- this is going to be the last time.

 

His hands don’t stop moving, fingers finding all the sensitive spots that he’s become so familiar with over the last couple months, that one spot on his ribs, a bite to his inner thigh, a tickle behind his left knee.  He kisses around his navel, biting the flesh right below, he feels Harry’s fully hard cock bob against his chin as it jerks underneath him.  Harry’s obviously not the only person he’s been with, but he is the largest.  He loves how Harry’s cock splits him open, fitting just right, makes him feel it.

 

Harry grabs onto his hair, pulling his face up to meet his, hips moving back over Harry’s both their hard cocks rubbing against each other.  He lets Harry control the kiss, hands back on his arse, grinding his dick against him, arching his hips, moaning into Niall’s mouth.

 

He pulls away, looking over to the night stand, where the tube of lube is still uncapped from earlier adventures.  He wants more; he loves Harry’s agile fingers in him almost as much as he loves his dick.  He grabs the lube, handing it to Harry and seconds later one long finger was working its way back in, quickly joined by the second spreading the lube, slicking him up.  He reaches back over and opens the drawer for the condom, only finding the empty box, vaguely remembering Harry mentioning last time, was that yesterday or the day before? That it was the last one and they used the one in his wallet the last time they’d fucked at the pub…

 

Harry’s fingers are pumping in and out massaging, curling and Niall’s hips moving, thrusting against the welcoming digits, creating friction between their dicks.  He keeps losing his train of thought as Harry’s fingers, work to spread him open.

 

 Niall focuses back on Harry not worried about the condom, this was one time, and he does _trust_ Harry. They have been sleeping exclusively with each other for three months.  He slants his lips down over Harry’s, slow deep kisses that have Harry moaning.  His third finger presses in, stretching his rim, getting him ready for Harry, unerringly he pressed his fingers into Niall’s prostate and he loses rhythm, Harry chuckles deeply and Niall knows he loves the way he responds to him.  Harry can play his body like his favorite instrument.

 

Niall pulls away from his lips, catching Harry’s gaze, “We don’t have any condoms.”  He pants, hips not stopping chasing Harry’s fingers as they pull out then push back in.

 

“Fuck- I meant to-” His eyes are dark, heavy lidded, but shocked, most likely pissed at himself.

 

“Do you wanna?”  Niall interrupts.  Niall feels Harry’s cock twitch leaking against his own at the thought when he realizes what he’s asking.  “I trust you.”

 

“Yeah, I’m clean, I promise, God Ni, please?”  Harry begs green eyes glazing over.  Niall breaks eye contact as he grabs the lube and spreads some in his hand, before grabbing Harry’s thick cock and spreading the lube over it.   Wiping his hand on the sheet, he grabs the base of his cock, Harry’s hands coming up to his hips to help, and he lines up the head with his hole sitting back slowly, sinking onto Harry’s cock.

 

He opens his eyes; he doesn’t remember closing them, because he wants to watch.  He loves watching Harry’s face.  And now the other boy seems entranced as he watches his dick disappear inside Niall, the reverence on his face apparent.  Finally when his hips settle against Harry’s, his green eyes shoot up and lock onto his gaze.

 

“God, Ni, you always feel so fucking good.”   And he could say the same thing.  His heart is racing, and he can feel Harry’s dick pulsing inside of him. He moves his hips up a couple inches before falling back down. Harry’s hands clutch at his hips, helping him move up and down, working out a rhythm.

 

“So good, you too, so fucking good, “Niall slurs, bracing his hands on his chest, fingernails clawing into his skin, cock bobbing as he rides Harry.  “Are you gonna come inside me?  Fill me up?”  Niall doesn’t know where the words are coming from, he’s never really been into dirty talk, but they seem to make Harry more frantic. More words pour out of him, he’s not even sure what he’s saying, but it makes Harry’s eyes hot and intense, and makes his fingers tighten on his hips.  He hopes there are bruises, something at least for a little while to help him remember.  Then Niall finds himself on his back, arse empty, Harry looming over him, dark eyes intense.

 

“Yes, yes, that…” and he doesn’t even remember what he said but all he can mutter back is _yes yes._

Niall watches as Harry settles on his knees then he drags Niall’s arse to him.  He raises Niall’s legs resting his skinny calves over his broad shoulders.  Harry’s cock is pressing against his rim, and then he’s sinking back in, and it’s so deep, and he’s already found his prostate and at this angle he’s not going to last.

 

Harry’s going at it, cock plunging in and out, pressing against his prostate, sending shockwaves through his body.  He grabs his own thighs, fingers digging into the flesh. He watches Harry, as he watches his cock move in and out.  “God Niall, you take it so well.  Made for me, just for me… ” And he loves it, the way that Harry talks to him when they fuck, the somewhat gentle tones, not gentle words, that offset the harsh movement of his hips.  His hands fall from his thighs, to the sheets, tangling in them, pulling them tight as he raises his hips to meet Harry’s.  His own cock is hard and red against his belly, he’s not getting any friction, but he doesn’t know if he needs it.  Harry’s dick is filling him perfectly, hitting just right, splitting him apart just how he needs.

 

“I’m- I’m-,” But Harry is nothing if not a considerate lover; he moves a hand down from Niall’s knee, tracing down his side, before grasping around his cock.   He only pumps twice before Niall’s body is locking up, orgasm shooting through him. A rough shout tearing from his mouth before Harry is kissing him.  His mind going blank as the pleasure races from head to toe.  Harry’s bending him in half, thrusting erratically, before he presses against him, balls slapping against his arse.

 

And, oh, Niall can feel it.  He can feel Harry’s dick twitching inside of him, the wet feel of his come as it fills him up.  His own dick twitches again more leaking from the head.  “Oh god, oh God…”  Harry’s muttering into his neck, hips still twitching.  Niall threads his fingers through his hair calming him before Harry pulls away.   Harry looks him in the eye, “You are fucking amazing.”  His smile is bright, but Niall can’t quite return it because he knows, _he knows_ what this is.

 

“So are you.”

 

“Why don't you stay?”  It’s the first time he’s been invited to fall asleep in Harry’s bed and he feels like that should mean something, but he knows it doesn’t.  He falls asleep before he even knows it.

 

Hours, minutes, later, he wakes up to Harry’s hot body wrapped around him.  He doesn’t know how long it’s been but his body is pulsing with arousal.  Harry’s hips are pressed tight to his backside and his cock a hard long line pressed to his arse; he can feel the moisture on his lower back from his leaking cock where Harry is grinding against him.

 

He presses back against it; his own cock is already hard, Harry’s hand pressed against it.   Harry seems to still be asleep but his body is ready to go.  Harry’s head is tucked against his neck, his nose nuzzling into Niall’s hair letting out an occasional moan or sleepy whimper. Niall presses his arse back and Harry’s dick spreads his arse cheeks and he grinds back, his hole still wet, and he doesn’t know if its lube or Harry’s come, but it makes his stomach hitch at the thought of being still full of Harry’s come.  

 

And if he’s going get woken up in the middle of the night, there might as well be something good that comes from it.  Harry’s other hand, the one not pressed against his dick,  is pressed against his chest and he brings it up to his mouth, sucking his fore finger in to bite lightly at the tip.

 

Harry’s slow to wake up, but as he does, he presses light nibbling kisses to his neck then his shoulders.  “Ni?”  It’s a gruff whisper, but he lets out a slight moan as the hand on his dick tightens, then moves, pumping, gathering the leaking moisture at the end to ease the way.  He moves his hips with the motion, rubbing against Harry’s dick as he does, then Harry’s pressing his hips against him, his dick moving up and down between his arse cheeks with more purpose.

 

Harry’s obviously getting with the program as he lets go of his cock and pulls his other hand from Niall’s mouth to turn him to his stomach and kisses down his back vertebrae by vertebrae before biting on each arse cheek. Its feels so good, and so intimate, it feels like something special, even though Niall knows the truth.  This isn’t special, _they_ aren’t special.

 

He lets out another moan as he shifts his hips raising them; Harry just cups his hips, and using his massive hands, thumbs on either side to spread his arse cheeks, and licks across his hole.  Niall lets out a groan as his tongue moves with more focus circling around his hole before he slides his tongue in.  It’s easy, still so open from everything earlier tonight.  Harry had obviously cleaned him up after he passed out, his chest and dick are clean, but his rim is still pliable, open. Niall bites the pillow but it doesn’t seem to help stifle his moans.

 

Harry just goes to work, eating his arse, tongue pressing, moving, then he’s sneaking a finger along inside to massage his prostate; a second one joins the first, scissoring him along with his tongue, he’s pretty sure he doesn’t need the prep but he loves Harry’s fingers and he can’t stop moaning.  He’s making so much noise, Harry’s encouraging it, telling him not to be quiet, _I want to hear you,_ Harry tells him.

 

He’s pretty sure that Harry’s eating his own come right out of his arse and it makes his cock jerk, he looks down the line of his body to see his it, bobbing, hard and red.   Harry finally pulls away.  “Ni, can we?  Please.”

 

He raises himself up to his elbows, pulls his face from the wet pillow.  “Yeah, yeah, c’mon.”  It was much quicker this time, he hears the lube cap open then close and then he feels the press of Harry’s dick spreading him open.  He can’t help the moan that it pulls from him when he presses in, stealing his breath.  

 

Harry starts to thrust shallow at first just the first few thick inches pressing in, then he starts working deeper, finding the angle that makes Niall arch and moan, before settling in all the way, balls resting against his bum. 

 

He starts to thrust hard and steady and Niall just knows that Harry’s watching his own dick move in and out of his arse, always watching  “That’s it, take it, c’mon, look at you, if only you could see, you take it so well, Ni.”  He wraps an arm around his waist angling his hips, making it deeper, able to thrust harder, using his knees to press Niall’s open wider.   “You feel so fucking good.  I can still taste my come in you and now I’m just going to fill you up again, right?  Can I?” it’s accompanied by a bite to his shoulder.  “Can I?”

 

“Oh god, oh god, yes.”  It’s out of his mouth before he even really things about it.  The thought of being full up of Harry is doing things to him that it shouldn’t.

 

He brushes a hand over Niall dick and he moans, jerking. Harry drapes himself over him whispering in his ear.   “Are you close?”  Niall nods, long moan of Harry’s name slipping from his lips, “Can you come like this? Without a hand on your cock?  Can you come from just my dick?”  Niall moans again, Harry’s words doing him in.  He shakes his head, but he doesn’t know, he never has before, but Harry is special.

 

“I think you can, you’re so good for me,”  Harry adjust his angle, hitting his prostate each time, ramming harder and harder, his bare cock marking him, plowing into him, claiming him in a way no one else has.   “Come for me, baby, come on.”  His hand presses hard on his  lower belly just between the cut of his hips under where his hard cock hangs away from his body, and his dick presses just right, words in that deep dark tone that makes his stomach tense in arousal.

 

Niall shouts as he comes, cock jerking leaving a white stain on the sheets below.  He drops his head, but keeps his hips up as Harry thrust faster than before, erratically snapping his hips.  The sound of their fucking is wet and crude and Niall loves it.  He can feel Harry’s balls hit his bum and he knows that they’re full and aching.  Harry’s muttering into Niall’s neck and he can only make out words here or there, _amazing, fucking tight, perfect_ and then he’s pressing in spilling deep inside Niall.  His hips twitching and just like last time, he can feel it, the pulsing of his thick cock in him, seeping warmth of his come.

 

“Best sex ever,” its pressed into his skin as Harry pulls out, kissing down his back, to lick at his arse.  Niall turns over, catching Harry’s hair and pulling him up kissing him deep, licking in, he’s too sensitive, and it just feels like too much.  It’s all too much.

 

“Fuck yes.  Best ever.”  Is about all Niall can manage.  And Harry keeps kissing him, and Niall doesn’t care how dirty it is.  Harry is really the best ever, best person ever.  He’s body’s thrumming with energy, but his eyes close in exhaustion.  Harry pulls away but Niall doesn’t even bother opening his eyes.  He feels Harry shift, wiping him clean.  He turns, tucking into Harry, nuzzling against his chest. 

 

Harry ‘hmms’ as he pulls him close, hand brushing through his hair, and they fall back to sleep cuddled together.

 

He feels Harry get out of bed, but doesn’t really process anything until a kiss is being pressed against his forehead.  He’s sprawled on his back on the bed, tangled in sheets that smell like sex and Harry.

 

“Ni, I’m leaving for the train, lock up after you leave?”  The question is soft and whispered in his ear before he feels a couple more kisses on his neck, a hand ghosting over his morning wood.  He opens his eyes slowly looking up at Harry as he’s pulling away, and this is it. He broke one of his rules last night and slept over. But now, now he gets this…most likely last tender moment that they are ever going to share. 

 

Niall goes to sit up, but Harry stops him with a hand on his chest.  “No stay, sleep.”  He presses a quick kiss to his lips, but Niall holds on; make the kiss deeper, dirtier.  He pulls away and just looks at him.  His eyes are so green, kind, his lips red from their kiss.  He’s so fucking beautiful, _and he’s not his._

 

“Ok, travel safe, Happy Christmas.”  His voice is deep, groggy, and his accent seems heavy rolling off his tongue, it makes Harry smile at him though.

 

“Happy Christmas, I’ll see you soon.”  Another quick kiss and he’s gone.  And while Niall tries to go back to sleep, it ends up being more that he tries not to cry.

 

So instead he gets up and gets ready to leave.  He can’t help but shake his head at his gullibility; he brushes his teeth and dresses in the clothes from the night before. Other than his spare toothbrush for after blowies, there was nothing here that was his, no extra clothes, no food of his in the fridge, not even the tea that he liked.  He had been careful, so careful, to obey the rules.

 

What had he been thinking?  Harry wasn’t looking for someone in his life, they were obviously just friends.  He had been looking for things that weren’t there, seeing signs that didn’t exist and he could only blame himself. Tidying up the bed and making sure that the garbage was out and no food would spoil in the fridge, he makes sure the door is locked then closes it behind him… he didn’t even have a key, thought back to when he had given Harry a key to his place a while back.  Looking back he was seeing with a much clearer sight. 

 

The walk back was quick and cold, full of more mental abuse as Niall beats himself up again and again, so much so that it’s obvious when he walks in the door.  Louis doesn’t even have to ask.

 

“You stayed the night. That’s new.”

 

“Well it won’t be happening again.” He drops into the seat by the island.

 

“So didn’t go as planned?”  Niall finds a cup of tea in front of him, brewed just right, with the right amount of cream and sugar. Niall had told Louis about his mom wanting to meet Harry; he knew he was asking him last night.

 

“Well, luckily, it wasn’t completely embarrassing.”  And that’s the truth; luckily Harry will never really know what went on last night.

 

“So?”  He asked, walking around with his cup of tea and sitting beside Niall at the small island in their flat.

 

“Nothing really, you know how me ma is.  Always wanting to meet my friends. So I told him he was invited to the Christmas party…”

 

“Maura’s bash, that’s one crazy party!”  Louis had to smile.  He had gone and had an amazing time; then again most of the football team had gone.

 

“Yeah, ‘cause ma thinks he’s my boyfriend.  But I didn’t tell him that, just invited him, his response was just ‘we’re friends that shag, that’d be weird’.”  Niall let his head fall to the counter as he replays the conversation in his head.

 

“So what are you gonna do, mate?”  It really is a valid question.

 

“I don’t know!”  Niall lifts his head only to drop it again, “I obviously need to stop sleeping with him.  I’m already half in love with him.”  At this Louis just snorts, “Ok, so I’m in love with him, but he just wants to be fuck buddies and that- I can’t do that.  It's, like, a recipe for disaster. ”

 

“So maybe just avoid the situations where you shag?”  Louis offers, at least he’s kinda trying.

 

“I think that I may just avoid him all together, tell him my grades dropped, or something.  Or…yeah, yeah.”  An idea is starting to come together.  “I pick up that one extra class to finish my music theory minor and that one online class.  The one that supposed to be super easy then I’ll just pick up a few more hours at BBC.  Now my internship is over I can be hired on.  They’re supposed to call me over break.  If that’s the case then I won’t have any time to spare.”

 

“Man, you’ll run yourself ragged.”  Louis sounds concerned.

 

“Better than having to tell Harry, ‘Hey we can’t shag anymore ‘cause I’ve kinda fallen in love with you and you just wanna fuck so it’s a bad idea.  But hey, let’s stay friends.’”

 

“Well when you put it that way…” Louis hesitates.

 

“I’ll try to think of something else, but right now I think this is the plan.  Will you cover for me?” Niall can feel his eyes starting to fill with the tears that he’s been fighting all morning.  But now that Harry was gone and he knows there isn’t going to be any more flirting, shagging, fun ‘not’ dates, it seems pointless to stop the tears.  It’s truly over.  He can’t continue to love someone who doesn’t even _want_ to love him back.  He has to get over it.

 

“Ni, of course, you know I love ya, brother!”  He wraps an arm around him, and Niall feels the tears break free.  He feels both of Louis’ arms around him pulling him close.  “It’ll be ok, I promise, broken hearts heal.  Don’t think about him at home, don’t text him don’t call him, just keep it friendly.  I got your back.”

 

Niall laughs wetly, “Thanks man.”

 

\----

**Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.**

Harry hit send but knows that he’s going to be waiting. 

 

This break is nothing like Harry expected.  He putters around the kitchen making tea and breakfast.   His mom was keeping him busy and he was having a blast with Gemma but he missed Niall.  And his texts are not the same.   He looks at his phone waiting for a text back.  He sits back down at the table, munching on breakfast, and waiting.  Niall always has his phone on him, so…

 

“Are you pining? Oh my god! You are! You’re pining! ” Gemma plops down next to him, grabbing the kettle and pouring herself some tea.

 

“Kinda,” he looks over at her.  She his big sister, he knows she'll give him the truth, “There's this guy.” And that’s not right, because Niall is not just _a guy._ “And we've been shaggin’, but lately it’s been like more….”  He waves his hand around as he fails to find a descriptor to explain the relationship between him and Niall, “And I like him.  We've been friends for a bit, it’s good, but the last week or so he's been distant.”

 

“Well, bug, you're on break.”  She looks at him, eye brow raised, eyes much like his own are curious.

 

“Yeah, but, normally there's more warmth.” He doesn't know how to explain it, but when he scrolls through the text he can _see_ the difference and it started as soon as he got home.

 

“Is this Niall?” She questions, filling in the blanks. When he looks up shocked, she smiles, “You talk about him all the time.  Like every time we talk, he’s in your pics, it’s kinda obvious.”

 

“Yeah, so, y’know I swore off relationships after Xander…”

 

“Bastard” Gemma mutters under her breath.

 

“And lately, Niall and I, it’s been starting to feel kinda like a relationship.  But an easy one, like there’s no stress and no drama, but we haven’t really said that we’re in one…” But he knows what he did. What he said, he’s not dumb, and he knew what Niall was asking.  It was a moment of pure panic and he certainly did not expect that night to play out like it did. Never thought that would happen.

 

 He has never had such a physical connection with someone like he did with Niall.  And when he woke up in the morning, Niall lying next to him, he didn’t want to leave; he just wanted to curl in close and stay with him in bed all day.  It had felt like cutting off a limb when he had gotten up and then kissed him goodbye.

 

“What did you do?”  Gemma probes, pulling him from his thoughts.

 

“Well- he asked me if I wanted to go to his mom’s Christmas party and I panicked and…”  He stutters because even if Niall hid it well, but what he had said hurt the blond, which was why when the rest of the night had unfolded like it did Harry had been shocked, in a great way, loved it, and not just the sex.  He’d liked the intimacy of it, how close they’d felt.   “I said that we’re just friends that fuck. And then I told him it would be weird if I went, and he just said that his mom liked to meet his friends, then we shagged, like fireworks shag, best of my life.  But now, like, his texts are weird and it takes him forever to respond.  It’s like he doesn’t know what to say, or is thinking about what to say.  And it’s distant and weird like I didn’t want it to be. ” He rests his head on the kitchen table and sighs.  “I don’t know what to do.”

 

He looks over at Gemma, his head resting on his folded arms.  He’s pouting and he knows it’s because he fucked up. “Well what do you want?”  She finally asks.

 

“I want to take it back, I want to tell him that we are more than friends and I want more.”  He didn’t even really have to think about it.

 

“That’s it, because you did basically tell him you just want to use him for sex.”  She sits down across from him, wrapping a loose hair behind her ear.  She looks at him with sympathy and he appreciates that since she could be looking at him a lot more harshly.

 

“I know! I’m such an idiot.”  He groans out, rolling his eyes and looking out the window.  It’s dreary and it’s starting to snow.  It matches his mood…

 

“Stop being so feckin’ dramatic. Have you sent him a pic of your new hair?”  He reaches up self-consciously to the newly cut hair on his head.   The thickness is there and the curls are still there but he’s definitely missing the length, misses being able to hide behind it.

 

“Do you think he’ll care?”  His phone dings and he looks down pulling up the message. 

 

**Ha ha**

**Christmas shopping finally done.**

He’d sent along an attachment with a bunch of presents piled on top of a bed.  Next to the bed sits a guitar and on the tousled flannel sheets sits his laptop.

 

**Anything for me ;) xxH**

He didn’t really care how desperate he looked.  He missed Niall and he would take this connection for as long as he would have it.  He snapped his head up when Gemma cleared her throat.

 

“You literally just forgot I was here.”  She looks insulted arms crossed over her chest, but he knows she’s really just mocking him.

 

“I know, I’m desperate…” He drops his head back on his arms.

 

“You’re in love with him.”   Gemma states amazed, “You are head over heels in love with him!  How did you not know?”  She lightly slaps him across the head.

 

“I know _now_!”  He whines frustrated.  It’s amazing the things you realize with a little bit of distance.   A week away from Niall, with him acting just a little bit not like himself was enough for him to realize that he was done.  Cupid’s arrow had hit true and he was in love with Niall Horan.  And he, out of fear, he had struck out and hurt his feelings and now he couldn’t do anything about it.  Because this was not a conversation to be had over a phone, this needed to be done in person, with huge romantic gestures and hand holding.  He was sure of it.

 

His phone dings again and he picks it up quick, this time it’s a picture of two smaller boxes.  **These are yours…**

**What did you get me?** Then he sends the pics of the presents that he got for Niall, wondering how in the hell he is going to explain the funky picture frame with the picture of them, a selfie Harry had taken of himself kissing Niall’s cheek after he had fallen asleep, slumped against his shoulder.  And the matching bracelets…

 

**I cant tell u it ruins the surprise**

Harry doesn't think too hard, just takes a picture of himself pouting and sends it to him. He smiles when his phone starts ringing 30 seconds later.

 

“Hey Ni.”  He answers.

 

“You cut your hair?”  He doesn’t sound sad or angry, he sounds shocked.

 

“I did, donated it to charity.”  He runs his hand through it again.  “It’s taking some getting used to.”

 

“I’m sure it is, but it looks good.  You look good.”  His voice is soft, his accent heavier since he’s been home, Harry wonders if that’s normal. 

 

“Thanks, are you calling to tell me what my presents are?”  Harry knows he sounds somewhat like a child but he doesn’t care, because Niall is laughing on the other end of the line. 

 

“No, I was calling because your hair took me by surprise.”  He sounds quiet and fond.  It soothes Harry’s heart to hear his voice.  It’s the first time they have spoken since Harry left Niall in his bed, wishing he'd be right there where he left him when he came home.

 

“But you like it?”  It comes out much more unconfident than Harry would like it to and he hates how Niall can pick up on that shit.

 

“I love it, I’ll miss your curls, but I like it.” He sounds more confident now. 

 

“I miss you.” He stresses and Harry bites his tongue because he wasn’t supposed to say that and he looks to Gemma for help, but she seems to be laughing at his utter lack of basic conversational skills.

 

“I miss you too Haz.  But break will be over soon. So I talked with my da and I’m gonna pick up that other music theory class and the online class to get my minor.  Also found out for sure that I got that job at BBC1.”

 

“Instead of your internship?”   Harry’s heart sinks.  They spent a lot of time together after studying, but picking up an actual job, future career, was going to take Niall’s time away from him.  Harry’s schedule was going to be easier this term, it sounded like Niall’s would be worse. 

 

“Yeah, I’m gonna be pretty busy when I get back, so I’m not sure when I’m gonna see you to exchange gifts.”  Niall sounds off now, Harry can’t put his finger on it, but something is wrong, just like the text messages.  He can feel it, but he doesn’t know what it is.

 

How is he supposed to make things right if he can’t even talk to Niall like normal?

 

“Well, just don’t forget about my birthday.  The party’s two Saturdays after we get back and I won’t forgive you if you miss it.”  His finger is tracing the top of his mug, and it squeaks a little.  He’s trying to make sure he sounds upbeat and happy but he kinda wants to cry.

 

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.  Um-” There’s an awkward pause, he and Niall never have awkward pauses!  “What is your plan for New Year’s Eve?”  This makes Harry smile because he loves it.

 

“Scrabble with Mom and Gemma.   You?”

 

“The pub with Bobby and the lads.  No party for you?”  He sounds a little surprised

 

“Na, we’re keeping it simple this year.  Last year we did a party and a yacht, and that was alright, but I think I want to keep it a little more low-key this year.”

 

“I see,” Niall laughs, but it sounds forced.  “Hey, I gotta go, but have a Happy Christmas Harry.”  It sounds so serious, so final.

 

“You too Ni.  Happy Christmas.”

 

“Bye, Haz,” He hears the click and it just feels wrong.  He looks over to Gemma and he has no idea what it is that she sees on his face, but she is walking around the table and hugging him close.

 

“I fucked up Gems,” He doesn’t know where the tears are coming from, just knows that something is wrong.

 

“It’ll be all right, bug.  We’ll figure it out.”  She strokes a hand through his hair and he just holds on tight, focusing on breathing.  “We got this.”  She whispers.

 

\----

 

He’s dreading this.  Absolutely dreading this, but he doesn’t really know how to act.  He’s text Niall numerous times since they’ve been back from break, but every time he’d received the response that he was working.  Or he was in studying or it was too late.  It’s a week and a half in and Harry is beside himself, because he still hasn’t seen Niall since they’ve been back.

 

Twice he’s called Gemma in tears, once to his mother, and she didn’t even know what was going on!

 

He’d only seen Liam a couple times, and then apparently Liam had only mentioned that every time he saw Niall he was running from here to there, always on his way somewhere, never really staying to hang out with Liam and Louis.

 

He thought about using that key, the one that Niall had given him… the one he knew meant that things were changing. 

 

He was never supposed to get a key.  _Boyfriend_ _Harry_ should get a key, _he_ didn’t deserve one.

 

They were supposed to meet at the library to study tonight.  But now he’s been here for ten minutes and Niall’s not here and he’s never late and he can’t breathe because Niall’s standing him up and how is he supposed to fix things when Niall won’t see him.

 

It’s another five minutes of erratic thinking before he looks up to see Niall dropping into the seat across from him.  And god, he looks good.  Tired, pale but good.

 

He got his hair trimmed while on break; his blond hair is almost completely gone.  He has his dark rimmed glasses on and his eyes are slightly blood shot dark circles under his eyes.  He’s wearing a white vest and it makes his eyes pop, Harry gets lost in them for a second.

 

“Ni, you look exhausted.”  Harry doesn’t even think about it, he reaches across the table and grabs his hand.  Niall just laughs at him.

 

“Thanks Harry, that’s just what everyone loves to hear.”  He raises his brow as he pulls his hand away to pull out his book and notebook.

 

“Shit, sorry.”  He shakes his head, “How was your holiday.”

 

“Good, I forgot your gifts though.  They’re at my place.  I can’t stay long; I’m working on the evening show tonight.  Go in at 7.”  His accent is heavier than it was before he left, maybe a side-effect of being home for the holidays?  Either way it makes his spine tingle and lips turn up in a grin.  Niall’s here, he’s really here.  He can fix this.

 

Harry looks at his phone it’s already almost 4:30.  Ok, so he doesn’t have much time.  Maybe he can get some insight to figuring this out.

 

“How was your mom’s Christmas party?”  He asks, curious.

 

“Good,” He looks up at Harry with a smile, a genuine smile.  “It was a little quieter this year.  Last year almost the whole footie team went.  It was a blast though.  You should have come.  Me mum asked about you.”  Harry feels the little dig in his heart, knowing that if he would have gone, things would be much different. Crazy how just a stupid moment of panic can cause so munch anxiety.

 

“I will have to meet her soon, maybe at half term?”  Harry asks hopefully, and Niall looks at him, eyes wide.

 

“Um, yeah, maybe, I don’t know if I’m going home, I think she wants to come here.”  Niall sounds a little bit choked up, blue eyes wide but guarded behind the dark frames he’s wearing.  Harry wasn’t joking, he looked tired. 

 

“Maybe, I could have my mom come up too; we could have a mum’s day.”  He smiles liking the idea; he would love for his mum to meet Niall’s.

 

“Sure…”  Niall drags it out and he’s observing Harry with cautious eyes. 

 

“So tell me about your holiday.”  The librarian looks over to the pair glaring at them and Harry tries to look sorry, but all he wants to do it talk to Niall.

 

Niall however listens to her because he follows the rules and apparently he is here to study not to flirt and talk with Harry like in the past. 

 

“I’ve been worried about you.  Are you ok?”  Harry asks.  “I haven’t seen you since we got back and you’re so busy.”  Just to prove his point, his phone beeps with a text, followed by an email notification.

 

“Yeah, I’m good, just a little bit busier than I thought I would be.  These extra classes are a little bit more than I bargained for.”  Niall looks back at the pile of books, there’s bookmarks scattered throughout the pages and his note books are full of writing.  He glances as his phone dismissing both and giving Harry his full attention.  Something that Harry has missed having.

 

“You aren’t going to miss my party are you this weekend?”  Harry can’t explain how, but he feels like this Saturday is going to be important.  Maybe if they get some time alone at one of their places they can figure this out.  Niall looks a little apprehensive but he shakes his head.

 

“No, I’ll be there.”  A light bulb goes off and Harry has a plan.

 

“Here then, take these.”  Harry hands him his two presents from his book bag.  They are wrapped in bright red, wacky paper, and tied together with a gold ribbon.  Niall reaches out hesitantly and Harry can see from here that his cuticles are bitten down, some look almost raw. 

 

“But I don’t have yours. We can’t exchange gifts yet.”  Niall looks so hesitant.  He hates seeing him like this, so tentative.  Niall is loud sunshine laughter and aimless talks of nothing. But this isn’t the time or the place.  He needs to get Niall alone and that isn’t going to happen tonight.

 

“I know, but I can give you these now and then after we are done celebrating my birthday I’ll come back to yours and we can open them.  I get to have my birthday and Christmas all wrapped into one.”  And Harry laughs because that is awesome no matter how you look at. 

 

On the plus side it also makes Niall laugh for the first time tonight and it’s not a fake laugh either.  It’s a genuine laugh that gets both of them in trouble with the librarian.

 

“Ok, Haz we can do it your way.”  They both lean over their books starting to focus on their studies. 

 

Finally Niall seems to be relaxing and Harry takes that as a good sign.  He had been spending so much time think up ‘what if’ scenarios that he never stopped to think that everything may just work out ok.  Maybe Niall hasn’t given up completely, maybe he is avoiding him, but not because he doesn’t like him anymore, but maybe because he doesn’t know how to act.  Harry rubs his foot against Niall’s and he doesn’t jump away, or run away, but he looks up at him and Harry smiles. 

 

The two hours pass quick enough, and then Niall is slowly packing up and back avoiding eye contact with Harry.  Just a few weeks ago, before break, in a situation like this they would be heading back to his place and Harry knows that Niall is thinking the same thing by the blush that is gracing the top of his ears.

 

He finally gets everything packed up and Harry can’t help himself, he told himself that he would go into this with a cool head and he wouldn’t do anything to make Niall uncomfortable but he can’t help himself.  He grabs Niall around the wrist, it always amazes him how his whole hand just encases his wrist.  It makes him think of taking Niall wrists above his head and holding him in place, Niall loves it and he does too.

 

“I miss you.” It’s out before Harry can even process the thought.  Niall looks startled and a little guilty, but that wasn’t his intention.

 

“I’m sorry and I- I miss you too, this term is just so-”

 

“Busy, I know.”  Harry fills in the excuse he’d been getting the last week and a half.

 

“But after my party, Saturday, your place, you and me?”  Harry doesn’t mean for it to sound so unconfident, so shaky but it does.

 

Niall looks up at him and his eyes are wide, but then he smiles.  And it’s the smile that’s just for Harry, he would know it anywhere. 

 

“I’m all yours.”  Niall tells him softly and that tells Harry everything he needs to know.  He feels the cracks of worry that have been overtaking his heart smooth over and fill in and he hopes that come Saturday night he can do the same for Niall.

 

\----

 

“What the fuck were you thinking?”  Niall mutters to himself as he’s getting ready.  Louis was already waiting for him in the kitchen.  His best friend had also laughed at him when he told him about the conversation at the library and then joked that he'd be at Danielle’s tonight so that he and Harry could have privacy. And really that was the last thing that he needed. 

 

Harry had him so confused.  He thought he knew what he was coming back to but Harry had not stopped texting him, none of them were bootie calls,  and then when they met up he asked about the party,  then talked about going back at half term… _what the hell?_  He pulled on his plain black jumper and slipping into his brown Chelsea boys and ran his hands through his hair.  

 

He just didn't know what to think.

 

He knew he wasn’t going to be strong enough to resist Harry, that's why he thought the best plan was avoidance, but even that didn't work.  He only lasted a week and a half before meeting up with Harry.  On the plus side he was already ahead with his classes and he only had one more test in his online class and them he was done with that. So he really wasn’t going to be all that busy after next week.

 

“Neil, c’mon we’re going to be late.  Liam, Harry, and all his hipster friends are already there!”  He said it mocking but they were running late.  Not on purpose though, he had been asked to stay an hour later at work to cover for someone else and Radio1 had given him a big opportunity so he had a hard time saying no.

 

“I'm coming!”  He takes one quick look in the mirror.  He looks good, the black shirt along with the lack of blond in his hair makes his eyes pop, and for just a brief second he wonders why he still wants to look good for Harry.   Because tomorrow he’s going to have to tell Harry that they’re just going to be friends and he's dreading it more than his last break up.

 

He joins Louis and grabs his coat, “Danielle comin’?”

 

“Yeah, she’s already there.   Apparently your boys already half way to drunk.”  He flashes up a pic of Harry taking a shot.

 

“Oh?  He’s never been drunk around me before.”  He's handing Louis his coat before he realizes why he's laughing.  “And he's not my boy.”

 

“Pretty sure he'll always be your boy.” Louis basically laughs at him, he looks devious.  He can’t help but wonder if Louis is going to try to stir up some drama tonight.

 

The party's at a karaoke bar that Niall’s never been to but it's close to his place.   They walk just couple blocks before they find it and open the door.  It looks like an old fashion pub on the outside and inside is warm and cozy with a fire place and a couch and chairs in one corner and then a stage surrounded by tables and a couple booths along the wall.   The bar runs along the whole place and is a pretty hopping place.  

 

He waves to the folks he recognizes, Nick, Alexa, and Jeff before he finally sees Harry.   He's wearing black skinny jeans, beat up brown Chelsea boots and a bright yellow Hawaiian shirt, only half buttoned. He looks ridiculously attractive.  His shorter hair is starting to curl at the ends and he wants to bury his hands in it.   It only takes seconds for Harry to feel his gaze and he turns and takes him in.

 

“Niall!” His long legs cover the distance with ease and before he knows it, Harry’s hands are on his face and his warm lips are on his. 

 

Niall doesn't even really stop to think, just kisses him back, hands falling to Harry’s hips, melting into him.  His surprised gasp lets Harry’s sneaky tongue dive into his mouth and then proceed to melt his brain. 

 

Harry’s lips are warm and the heat from his hands spread down his body all the way to his toes. This, _this_ is why he needed to avoid Harry, because he can take him apart with a touch, a kiss, and Niall loves it.  He loves the way their bodies work together, meld together like they were designed for each other.   

 

One of Harry’s hand threads into his hair, the other drops to his arse, and he pulls away to rest his forehead on Niall’s.

 

“Hey.” He whispers it softly smiling bright; his bright green eyes are equally as soft.

 

“Hey.”  Niall melts a little because it’s kinda obvious that Harry is really happy to see him, and he feels kinda like a twat.  He kisses him again this time short and sweet, until it's not and they just get lost a little bit lost inside each other. Slowly he starts to pull away because he needs to catch his breath and he hears Harry’s friends clapping and whistling and he has no idea how long they’ve been making out at the entrance of the bar.  Louis clears his throat.   Harry looks away from Niall for a second to glance at Louis.

 

“Hi Lou, when did you get here?” Harry still sounds a little husky, and Niall laughs.

 

“We came together.” Niall tells him, bringing Harry’s attention back to him.   He drowns a little bit in that green gaze.

 

“I didn't even notice.  I guess all I saw was you.”   Niall blushes at the complement he can actually feel his cheeks heat.  Before Louis actually pulls Harry away to wrap him in a hug. And Niall knows what he’s doing because he gives him a look that says _what the hell?_ Because that is the first time they have ever kissed in public and Niall is more confused than ever.

 

“Happy birthday Harold. Let me buy you a drink.”  Louis pulls him away but that only last for about five minutes before Harrys back with him, arm around his waist asking him all about his break, and what did he get him for Christmas, and _I missed you._

 

Niall would never have described Harry as clingy, but he rarely leaves his side and makes sure that Niall is introduced to everyone. Harry is getting more and more drunk by the shot and he has a couple pints in him so he's feeling good.  It also doesn’t help that the more shots Harry takes the more frisky he gets.  Niall literally has to pull his hand from off his arse or from under his shirt more than once.

 

 Harry is pulled up multiple times to sing, and he’s pretty good and once he pulls Niall up there with him.  About the fifth time Louis grabs Niall and pulls him in the hall by the bathroom that leads to the back entrance.

 

“What are you doing?” he hisses at him. How is this his fault?

 

“I don't know, man.” He raises his shoulders and shrugs, “this is the first time he's let me out of his sight since we got here.” And he's just as confused as Louis because they've been to parties before but Harrys never acted like this before.

 

“He’s acting like your boyfriend.”  Louis mutters at him, eyes wide, but also something else.  He knows what Tommo looks like when he’s plotting something and he’s had that look a couple times tonight.  He knows something...

 

“I know, I don't know what the fuck is going on.”  And he doesn't because this is all new, but it feels good, and he can't stop smiling but he's trying to because he knows that this isn’t permanent.   Maybe it's a drinking side effect; he's never seen Harry this drunk before. Truth be told though he’s a happy drunk and that’s great.

 

“Ok, but don't lose focus.  No shagging.”  Niall knows what Louis is doing and he appreciates the pep talk, the man really is like a brother to him.

 

“I know, no more friends with benefits.  It's just hard to go through this, seeing what could have been, but knowing that, like, it isn't what he wants, yeah?”  Niall leans against the wall looking at Louis.  It's easy to stop smiling as soon as he says it because that is the truth.   Harry’s friends are all a little more posh than he is but they seem nice enough especially after that kiss Harry gave him when he got here, but he knows that he doesn’t quite fit in with this crowd. He goes to say something else something less serious but his attention is pulled away when Harry rounds the corner.

 

“What?”  Harry looks a little pale, and his eyes are hazy with liquor.

 

“What, what?” Niall asks turning to look at Harry, gives him his full attention. He’s has one hand propped against the wall leaning into it, toes pointed inwards.  He really does have horrible posture.

 

“What isn't what I want?” Harry walks forward a bit and then stumbles over something.   Niall takes a couple quick steps, catching him around the waist.   Harry nuzzles in close tucking his head into Niall’s neck, arms wrapping around him like wet noodles.  Niall runs a soothing hand through his hair because really he's wanted to do that all night.

 

“Nothin’ for you to worry about, pet.”  He whispers.

 

“Don't lie to me, you were taking about me.”  Harry raises his head to glare at Louis who puts his hands up in the ‘who me?’ gesture. Glaring seems to take far too much of an effort though and he sets his head back down into the cradle of Niall’s neck and shoulder.

 

“Just saying you were acting a little different tonight.”  Louis starts, Niall looks at Louis and he looks like he's about to make Niall’s life miserable. “Just saying that you were acting like Ni’s boyfriend tonight.”

 

“Shut up, Lou.”  And he tries to catch his eye, but Louis is focused on Harry.

 

“Like the way you greeted him with a kiss, and seriously what a kiss man!  You know that's the first time you’ve done that in public?” 

 

“It was great; we should do it again soon.”  Harry just looks up and smiles at Louis, for second before laying a sloppy brief kiss on Niall’s lips then nuzzling back in to him.

 

“Lou…”  He tries to sound threatening, but Louis just winks at him.

 

“And then introducing him to all your friends…” He just plows on like Niall isn’t even speaking.

 

“My friends love him ‘cause he makes me happy.”  And Niall’s not even sure if Louis could hear that sentence but he does.

 

“C’mon Lou, shut the fuck up.”  Niall hisses, but the damage is already done.   Harry stands up arms moving to rest on his shoulder.

 

“Would that be bad?” And, oh god, he's a weepy drunk, green eyes glowing with tears.  “To be my boyfriend?

 

“No, no, it would be great.” Later Niall might deny to being a little panicked when faced with Harry’s tears, but he is definitely panicked.   He doesn't like seeing Harry sad, never has, always loves making him laugh until he laughing his big honking laugh that he's so embarrassed of.

 

“Wouldn't it?” Harry is back to smiling, and Niall kinda feels like he's riding on an emotional rollercoaster.

 

“But it's not what you want pet, maybe we should talk in the morning?”  Because talking was inevitable, it was his plan all along.  Hell, he’s not even sure what Harry will remember in the morning.

 

“What if it is what I want?  Then what?”  Harry leans forward placing a kiss on his cheek, then the corner of his mouth then right on his lips. Niall can taste the alcohol on his lips.

 

“My job is done,” Louis claps his hands together and walks away sending Niall another wink over his shoulder.

 

“I’m still thinking we should talk in the morning,” He says pushing Harry’s sweaty fringe of his face.  Harry nods seriously before tucking his face back into Niall’s neck.  Funny thing is he keeps talking. ..

 

“I want that…boyfriends.  Gemma said I was an idiot. And I told her I was, that I was dumb, and I wanted to go to your party and meet your mum,  but only after  I got home and something changed and you got weird, and I didn't want to go home, I wanted to stay in bed with you, and I want you to sleep over so  I can wake up with you or wake you up, or something…” he seems to lose his train of thought,  “I don't feel good anymore.” Is what he ends with.

 

Niall tries to process the information, but decides to focus on that last part first.  “Are you gonna be sick, Haz?” He shakes his head and just tucks in closer.   Niall wraps him up in his arms, rubs his back soothingly.   He takes a couple steps backwards and leans against the wall, Harry stumbles with him, before leaning against him as they settle in against the wall. He looks up when he hears a laugh and Harry’s friend Nick is leaning around the corner laughing at them, or Harry in particular.

 

“Birthday Boy done for?”  He asks, and Harry nods without raising his head.   He lets out a little whine and tries to burrow deeper into Niall’s chest.

 

“I think so.” Niall can't help but laugh a little at him, to which Harry whines again.  He's kinda like a clingy koala and that makes Niall smile.

 

“Well at least he lasted longer than last year.” And when Niall looks at the time he notes that it is almost midnight.   “I'll grab your coats and then you guys can head out.  I’ll let everyone know he's partied out.” Nick disappears and when Niall looks down the small hallway he can see the back entrance.   Harry stays in his arms, every once in a while presses soft kisses to his neck.  Nick returns with both their costs and Niall thanks him.  

 

“He's probably gonna get sick.” Nick warns him, “I've only ever seen him like this once before, and he can be a dramatic little twat when he's drunk so have fun.”  Nick leaves with a wave of his fingers leaving Niall to get both him and Harry into their coats.

 

Once they step outside, the cold January air helps Harry snap out of it some.   Niall takes his hand guiding him slowly away from the bar and back to his place.  Harry seems sullen on the walk home, but he's gripping Niall’s hand tightly, like he never wants to let go.   When the finally get in the building he looks back at Harry and decides on the lift instead of the stairs.   There is no storm so he should be safe; he doubts that Harry can do five flights of stairs.  He presses the call button, and then waits.

 

Harry hugs him from behind, resting his head on his shoulder looking blankly at the wall to his right.  His arms are around his waist, pulling Niall’s back to his chest. Niall puts his hand over Harry’s and rubs soothingly.

 

“Best thing in my life getting stuck in this lift with you.”  He sounds almost completely sober, but when he looks over at him, his cheeks are still flushed red and his eyes are dilated.

 

“Hmm?”

 

“I looked like a punk, all piercings, tattoos, and eye liner, and you talked to me and didn't judge me.  I liked you a lot already. Even though I thought you were a jock.  At least I got an A on the project.”  He rambles off on a tangent.

 

Niall places his hand over Harry’s on his waist. “You kept me calm, focused.  You looked good like that, granted I like this better, because I know it's you.” Niall steps out of his arms as the lift doors open, he steps forward.  Harry walks close behind him and places a hand on his shoulder to turn him to face him and smirks. He looks mischievous, now.  He’s obviously starting to wake up a little.

 

“Look, we can finally snog in the lift,” he presses forward, pressing Niall against the back of the wall and kisses him. They're both laughing when their lips meet and Niall is reminded of why he was supposed to stay away. Because this feels amazing.  Harry’s body pressing into his, one of Harry’s lean muscled thighs slotted between his.  He raises his hands, cupping Harry’s neck to bring him closer kissing deeper.   Harry pulls away for a second to press the button for the top floor before kissing Niall again.

 

“I miss you; please don't pull away from me anymore.”  His hands are tight on his hips, clenching as the lift beeps climbing the floors before the doors open. “I don't like you avoiding me.” 

 

“Ok, I won't, but let's talk on the morning, yeah?”  Niall grabs a hand from his hip walking them off the lift to his door.

 

“I think I'm gonna be sick.” Harry tells him, and when he looks back, Harry definitely has a green tint.  Good lord, what a night.

 

“Ok, pet we’re almost there.” He opens the door and ushers Harry in, who heads straight to the loo.  Niall stops in the kitchen to grab a glass and some aspirin and then heads to follow him.   He laughs when he sees the trail of clothes, right boot, left boot, jacket, shirt, he can hear Harry being sick in the bathroom, so he waits it out a bit picking up Harry’s clothes folding them up putting his shoes by the door and then placing his folded clothes in the bedroom.  He hears the toilet flush then Harry puking again.   He feels sorry for him ‘cause, hell, he's been there before.

 

He makes his way in the second time he hears the toilet flush.  When he looks in Harry’s lying on his side curled around the toilet.

 

“Aww, babe, come on sit up.”  He fills the glass with water, “need you to drink some water.” 

 

Harry just stays on the floor and lets a whimper.   He'd tried to wiggle out of his jeans but that apparently didn't work out, it looks kinda comical but Niall holds in his laugh because Harry also just looks so pathetic.  Luckily he made it to the loo in time.

 

He sets the glass on the counter, and then peels off Harry’s jeans, leaving him just in his pants.   He shivers a bit, so Niall pulls him up and he leans into him. He doesn't smell great.

 

“Here drink.”  Harry drinks a little water, but just ends up getting sick again.   

 

Niall really doesn't want to think about how much time they spend in the bathroom, but finally he gets Harry up, a couple glasses of water in him along with some aspirin and tucked into bed.  He lays Harry on his side, close to the edge of the mattress, before his strips down to just his pants and curling up behind him. Harry’s passed out before Niall can even cover them with the sheets.  Last glance it’s almost 4:00am.

 

Niall wakes up alone, which isn't weird, it's actually normal, but last night wasn’t normal.  He hears the shower click off and once he knows where Harry’s at he starts to drift back to sleep. 

 

He loses track of time but doesn’t really think anything of it when Harry climbs back into bed, cuddling into Niall. So he wraps his arms around him and pulls him close.  

 

“I still don’t feel good.”  Harry mutters into his chest.

 

“Shhhh, just go back to sleep, love, it’s still early.”  And Niall can tell by the sun on the wall that it’s barely past eight.  “Did you drink more water?”  Niall doesn’t even think about it, just runs his hand through Harry’s hair, petting him.  Harry lets out a moan that Niall thinks is his equivalent to a cat’s purr.

 

“Yes, showered, brushed teeth, and I feel slightly human.”  Harry’s voice is gruff with sleep. 

 

“Then just sleep, trust me, I’ve been here before.” 

 

“You’ll be here when I wake up, so we can talk.”  That finally makes Niall open his eyes and meet Harry’s.  His gaze is still a little hazy and Niall thinks he still might be a little drunk.

 

“Of course.”  Because really this is his apartment…  Harry seems satisfied with the answer pushing Niall on to his back then sprawling over him falling back to sleep.  Niall quickly follows lulled to sleep by Harry’s steady breathing.

 

It’s almost noon when Niall wakes again and he pulls on a pair of joggers to go make tea and breakfast, lunch- whatever.  He thinks Harry is still asleep but only minutes after he walks out, Harry follows him. 

 

It seems that they almost have a morning routine even though they have never done this before.  Niall makes the toast and pulls out the jam while Harry pulls down the tea cups and makes the tea.   It’s mostly done in silence, but Niall can barely hear over his own thoughts, his heart is racing.

 

Last night was so crazy, but the way that Harry had been acting makes Niall go for a slightly different approach than he was thinking last night, because maybe this doesn’t have to be over.

 

Because last night Harry had admitted, at least drunkenly, to wanting to be with Niall and that was enough for Niall to take a chance.  They sit down at the island side by side, Harry leaning into him slightly when Niall finally finds the courage to speak.

 

“Listen Harry, I’m sorry I’ve been kinda of a twat.  I should have just been honest with you. I don’t want to be friends with benefits anymore.”  He rushes to say it because otherwise he doesn’t think he’s going to get it out.

 

“Oh,” Harry pulls at the crust on his toast, before taking a bite, wide eyes looking at Niall, asking him to go on.

 

“Yeah, so like I've been avoiding situations that we normally would have, ya know…”  Niall waves his hand in a circular motion, hoping it makes his point.  Harry nods at him, but his eyes stay stuck on his, strangely intense.  

 

“Shagged?”  Harry asks raising a suggestive eyebrow.

 

“Yeah,” Niall’s shoulders fall because he really isn’t good at this.  He’s never been good at talking about his emotions.

 

“Why?”  And he’s serious, Niall realizes.  Harry may not actually know where he’s going with this.

 

“Well I just don’t think it’s a great idea.  I’m starting to get…”  And here was the hard part, this, _this,_ was the leap of faith.

 

“Starting to get what?”  Harry prods, and lays his hand on Niall’s thigh.   The heat of it through his joggers is distracting.

 

“The lines are just starting to get a blurred for me.”  God!  Why can’t he just say it?  Why can’t Niall just say what he’s feeling? 

 

“What lines?”

 

“Harry really, c’mon, do we need to do this?  You know what I’m trying to say.” He snaps out, exasperated.  He can’t do this; there is a physical pain in his chest as he speaks, like he’s taking his heart out to just lie in front of Harry at this very table.  Can’t Harry just help him out?

 

“You mean the lines between friends with benefits and something more?”  Harry prompts.  Niall can’t really look him in the eye so he looks down.  He starts getting just a little bit confused; his heartbeat just can’t seem to stay steady.  Maybe he was wrong? Maybe what Drunk Harry says isn’t what Sober Harry thinks?  But if that’s the case then what right does Harry have to push this? 

 

His voice rises just a bit, he’s starting to feel a bit cornered and he doesn’t like it, “Listen.  I’m just done.  I can’t…” 

 

“Me too.”  Harry interrupts him, cutting him off.

 

He looks up shocked; it feels like the air in his lungs is frozen.  He can’t have heard what he thought he heard.  Harry’s done with it too?  Wait-what part is he done with?   What was last night?  Why had he been so clingy and kissy and so god damned perfect?

 

“What?”   This time it’s his turn to question.  But Harry has a small blush on his cheeks and a shy smile.

 

“My lines are blurred too; I don’t want to be friends with the benefits.  I just want to love you.”  _Oh god._

 

“What?”  And just like last night, this is starting to feel like an emotional roller-coaster, hope, then dread, then confusion, and now back to hope.

 

“Ni, I was a twat too.”  But Niall stops him right there.  He stands up, turns to Harry and covers his mouth with his hand.

 

“Wait.”  Harry’s eyes are wide above Niall’s hand pressed over his mouth. And he just needs to think this through for a second.  “Everything you said last night, was true?”  He just really needs to clarify because while Harry may have been a somewhat drunk idiot but he was pretty clear on his feelings last night

 

Harry nods, putting his hand over Niall’s and pulling it away from his mouth.  He laces their fingers together and kisses Niall’s knuckles.

 

“I was an idiot and as soon as you started to pull away, I figured out I was in love with you.  My sister mocked me for days.”  Harry was pouting, and it shouldn’t look good on him, but it does.

 

“I think I need to meet your sister.”  Niall laughs because if he wasn’t in this situation himself he could totally see himself making fun of it.

 

“I just told you I love you and you want to meet Gemma?”  Harry laughs with him, looking properly insulted as he brings his other hand up to Niall’s side, thumb rubbing his hip bone.

 

“I love you too, I have for a while.  I’m not sure when it happened but it did.”  He clarifies, because he hasn’t said it yet.  Harry deserves to hear it, to know that he’s loved.

 

“Me either…”  He pushes his empty plate and mug away from him and pulls Niall in closer to stand between his legs.  “And this is going to sound anti-climactic, but I’m still tired and hungover. Can we just go back to bed?  Then when we wake up I can show you how much I love you by shagging you into the mattress?”  He says it with a suggestive grope to his bum and Niall is reminded that they haven’t shagged in almost a month and half, but the idea of it is making him lean down and kiss Harry, slow melting kisses that have Harry pulling him closer, holding him tighter.

 

He looks at Harry when he pulls away.  He still doesn’t know what he did to deserve this man, he is truly beautiful inside and out. 

 

Niall breaks the moment by pushing away his empty plate and mug as well. “Ok, let’s go back to bed.” They walk back to bed hand in hand, but Niall’s heart hasn’t stopped beating fast.  It’s like he’s waiting for the other shoe to drop, something bad to happen.

 

 Harry seems to get it and pulls him into a hug when they get into the bedroom and Niall chokes up a bit when Harry reverently takes his clothes off, never stopping kissing him, hands worshipping him.  It’s sensual but not seductive, not trying to ramp him up, just letting his love flow through his hands.  Niall can feel it in every touch. 

 

He’s pulling up the sheets over them after Harry finally strips down himself and gets in bed in front of him.  He just can’t stop smiling.

 

“You love me?”  He leans down and presses a kiss to Harry’s shoulder.

 

“Yes, and you love me.”  Harry confirms turning to him and pulling him close, kisses him and it feels a little different now that Niall knows the emotion behind it is returned, it makes Niall feel warm from his heart all the way out to his toes.

 

“Yes,” Niall nods and he laughs a little, but now he can’t stop kissing Harry, short quick kisses to his lips and then around to pepper his face. 

 

He doesn’t have to follow all those rules he made for himself anymore.  He can sleep over, they can make dates and they can talk about the future… just maybe not right now.

 

“Sleep and then shag.”  Harry promises and then turns on his side, Niall cuddles up against his back, tucking Harry tight to his chest.  He can feel his heart beat steady under his hand and he knows that it’s his now.

 

“Then presents.”  Niall whispers in his ear, making him wonder if Harry had been thinking of this early this week when he sent the presents home with Niall.  Had it been his plan all along to get them talking? 

 

They fall asleep slowly like an anchor pulling them down.  And when Niall wakes up, wrapped around Harry he doesn’t feel like everything is crashing down, worried because he didn’t follow the rules, this time instead, it feels like a brand new start.

 

\----

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! For some reason this one is a little harder to let leave my cloud. Please feel free to let me know what you think by either commenting and/or leaving kudos.
> 
> Also you can find me on tumblr [Here.](http://catrinahartsnarry.tumblr.com/) I'm mostly just lurk but feel free to say 'Hello!'


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